Todd: My character says to your character, 'Hello! Have you ever heard of this thing called reality'!?!?!?" (I find this statement particularly amusing and ironic as at the time Todd was playing "Jennifer")-Moonshade
Butler: These are the rules. . . You may only be in one of the three bedrooms set aside for you and your comrades, this foyer, the lounge with the televition set, and the dinning room. All other rooms in this house are off limits. If you want anything to eat, drink, read, or fuck you will call for me and I will get it for you. . .
"One of them was trying to make love to the wall, and he was the one who was in the best shape."-Barnibus P.I.
"I'm not gonna use that!!! Somebody didn't flush!"
"Oh! I thought you said GAY-master!"
- Warriors of the Burning Tears
Sam: We can't WALK to Mexico City. It's pritty far you know. Burt: It's not far. . .just twice around the Mullberry Bush.
-Burt
Costos: Ohhhh! The slinky is a spiral. . .that's bad. . . Burt: Hmmmm, I wonder if you could dance the slinky. . .
-Sam
Prof. Widget: (SOE Mage) Hay, I found out that if you crack apart that crystle infused ingot thingie you gave me it reverts back to a liqued form. Oh yeah and I've got the stuff that was in the canisters too. ::Begins to produce a beaker:: Durante: ::noticing the red stains on her hands and sleeves:: It takes FOUR HOURS to make one of those. ::noticing that the beaker he was just handed if FULL of red crystles:: Prof. Widget: Yeah well, ::shrugs:: I just ran it all through my compression unit. ::walks away:: ::He looks up from the beaker that represents about a quarter of an hour's waiting for her and several decades of constent, strenous effort for him and watches Widget leave:: Durante: I Hate technology.
Wyrm Taint? No No, correct grammar is just a..er..certain kinda smell that Pentex Agents give off.
NPC Satyer: Care to join us at a party? Burt: Will there be slinkys? NPC Satyer: Slinkys? ::thinks:: Yes! We shall have slinkys! Burt: Lots of slinkys? NPC Satyer: Oh! We shall have slinkeys till DAWN!
ST: Okay Burt, next morning you wake up with a *huge* hangover. You're laying on a table, amist a pile of slinkeys, and there are several Rabbit Pooka of varying age, sex, and apperence surrounding you grinning.
-Mirella
-Adam F
(While all this is being said there's a ritual going on in the same room and sounds of fighting going on downstairs.) Marco: You know Jonny, you didn't have to shoot me. You've ruined a perfictly good flack jacket. Jonny: I told you to put your gun down. Jacob's voice from downstairs: Jonny? Marco: You didn't answer my question. Jacob's Voice fds: Joooonny. ((Out of game peanut gallery sings, o/~o/~...Angry Jonny. Jezabelle in Hell! o/~o/~ you get the idea.)) Jacob's vfds: I would really apreciate some assistence! Jonny: I *told* you to put the gun away and step back. Jvfds: Jonny, we could use some help down here! Marco: All you had to do was tell me you're not trying to destroy my family heirloom. Jvfds: Jonny? Could you please come down here?! Jonny: You didn't put your gun away. Jvfds: Jonny, we've got a Lord of Hell down here. Jonny: Next time, just do what I say. Marco: Okay Jonny, fine. Now, let's go help your friend with the Lord of Hell. Jonny: Okay, after you. Marco: No, after you.-Marco, Jonny, and Jacob
::Marco carefully pokes his head into a room while Margret watches him from the end of the hall:: Marco: ::suddenly lifting 5 or more feet into the air:: "Aieeeee!" Margret: ::walking up:: "Hi there . . ." ::Marco flips upsidedown:: " . . .welcome to my home. . ."::Marco slams into the wall:: "I'm Margret. . ." ::slam:: . . ."and you are?" Marco: ::pointing to the very old Ravnos behind her who just happens to be her boss' arch nemissis:: I'm his friend.-Margret the Teek
-Jonny G.
Okay, so if you look in the WOD:Gypsies book, you can read about these magickal SEEDS. ((Damn condisending little blighters they are.)) And to put it in a nut shell only people of strong Rom blood can touch them w/o going STARK RAVEING MAD. Now one of them is called the Seed of Knowlage, and, if you're of the Rom, you have access to ALL knowlage that has ever exisited while you hold this seed. (It's the same if your not of strong Rom heratige, it's just that you can't handle it.) Now this wacky Tremere, I think you spell his name "Durante", had a great-great-great Grandmother who had a Rom Blood Purity raiting of like. . .ONE. (Out of five) So he figures he can touch it to access the knowlage of a certain ritual for two seconds before his mind IMPLODES. Long story short, (too late) he botched, his brain was all squishy, regressed to the mentality of about a 2-year-old. (Mind you, this particular kindred is something like 2-THOUSAND-years-old, at least that's what I heard, so we we're all laughing pritty hard.) A Ravnos Kindred snags the Seed from the gibbering Durante on the floor and finishes the ritual. The ritual was to open up a portal in the umbra to go to Pluto. (Don't ask, I don't quite understand myself.) So anyway, the ritual is finished, the portal opens, those that are going grab the limp Durante and jump through. Now they had prepaired for this trip quite well, includeing obtaining the services of a guide. Unfortunetly for them, their guide ditched them. . . on Pluto. So they're standing there dispondently . . .on Pluto. . . and one of them pulls out a compus and says, "Well, I guess it was pointless to have brought this. . ." At which point, Durante spys the compus and gets very excited. Durante: North! North! ::claps:: Magnetic North! Magnnnnetic North!! That's all he could say for the last half-hour or so of the game.-Margret the Teek
John: Okay so do I have to roll Fae Lore or can I just assume "Big snake thingy on burning tower usually bad"?-John
-Michelle
John: Ouch! Fireball to the head. . . Bree: May clear your sinuses. . .-Bree
"I will play an infernalist. . . But I don't do Greek Orthodox. . ."
-Todd
So I get tired of Sam's attitude and I think he needs to understand what other people feel. So I curse him with the knowlage of what the rest of the kampania is feeling. Storyteller: Okay Sam, you're really depressed because you miss yourself.-Mirella
Waitress: "Sir? He says he's flattered, but he's straight."
-Jonny G.
Rico: ::calls up his wife:: "Honey, there's a sniper outside your window." Wife: "Okay Sweety, night night." ::click::
((Them wacky Geovannii gouls and their pillow talk. . . shiesh!))
-Rico
Marco's Player: I'm walking down the street, looking for a way to calm down. ST: You see a mugging in prossess. Marco's Player: I beat him senseless, take his wallet and leave." ST: The mugger you mean. . .right? Marco's Player: Um. ::pause:: Yeah.-Marco
-Burt
-Sam
-Sam
"Would you like to be baptised? I have an alter blessed by Pope Urman III in my steamer trunk."-Jacob, Clan Ventrue
((A Tremere has brought his coterie to his VERY important mentor who is the Regant of some bitchen Chantry or other and is describing an attack made on a big nasty by a group of elders.)) Trem: There was a woman with hermetic markings on her robes, I didn't recognise them. I think she may pre date us. . . Ventrue: Oh, she's Old Clan Tzemicie. Trem: ::momentary silence, rounds on Ventrue:: You're telling me this _NOW_? Ventrue: Well. . .just trying to be helpful.
"We may seem tough. . . But we're still soft and squishy at heart."-Marco Lupine
"YOU DO _NOT_ HAVE A KING JAMES VERSION OF THE NECRONOMICON!"-Mirella
Mirella: I'll do it with duct tape, I've got a dot in enigmas. Marco: Heh, Zen and the Art of Garou Repair-Mirella and Marco Lupine
"Ah yes, I read about that in in the Big Book of Going to Hell."
-Marco of the Goon Squad
-Adam
Two characters were at a pizza palor in Phoenix, Chef Boy Ar'Dee, the Bone Gnawer, and a Sidhe that had an incredible resemblence to Lucy Lawless. They were discussing if Chef's weasel spirit was a being of Gaia or of the Dreaming. Chef said that Gaia, and her servants such as Weasel always provide for their people. Chef: "Weasel." *ching*(a coin is thrown to Chef) Chef: "Weasel." *ching* (another coin is thrown) Lucy: "That's not what I ment about you're being provided for!" Chef: "By who? You meen by . . .Weasel?" *ching* (yet another coin) Chef: "You doubt the power of. . .Weasel?" *ching* (yep, another coin) Actually there was a childing fae in the corner throwing quarters at Chef, simply because he didn't like the Sidhe. To this day Lucy still thinks that Weasel will provide money any time Chef asks for it...
-Eric/Pierre/Bill/Adam
-Bert
Mirella:I have END WORLD at 12. Samuel: Yeah? Well I have SAMUEL at 9. Burt: Gee, I just have BE REALLY NICE GUY at 6.-Goon Squad
Where ever mage players are gathered together there is always one who says, "did I ever tell you about that time in my game, we had a akashic brother just escaped from a monastry in wales, and we had managed to get this torpored vampire in the boot of our car. We didn't have any anti-vampire gear, you know stakes, garlic, mirrors (we of course knew nothing about vampires it didn't help he was a lasombra as well but thats another story) etc. so he went out to get some. After buying some fence posts in a local DIY shop, drawing some strange looks because he was wearing what appeared to by pyjamas. He then popped to the local grocers and asked to get some garlic,(btw he didn't know about money, police, what women look like naked etc having just spent his entire life in a monastry) he than made his fatal mistake. Answering yes to the question "off hunting vampires then sir".After a local policeman put his hand on his shoulder(called by the shop keeper), his finely tuned reflexes threw him over his shoulder.This caused a large chase by several hundred policemen (to the first song in Trainspotting) with him jumping over police cars, running down a high street on top of moving vehicles before finally jumping into the Thames over London Bridge. Not only did he make the evening news, injure several police and a "have a go hero" he lost the fence posts and had to steal a small tree." -MJW
Todd: "I just finished reading the Freak Legion book!"
John: "How is it?"
Todd: "It's cool... I just finished building Godzilla as a starting
character!"
-Todd
Craby the Malkavian's Mun: "Okay.... let me get this straight. You just rammed an 8 gauge shotgun up my butt and fired?" Kiyone the Templar's Mun: "Right." Craby the Malkavian's Mun: "Is that aggravated?"-Todd
"I TOLD you not to tease the Fury!"
-The Pack Philodox, to his dying Silent Strider friend.
"Shut up and pass me more ammo! I think the Fury just twitched!"
-Response.
"Um... excuse me. I'll just go back that way."
-The Fianna Ahroun, after interrupting a Klaive duel between the Black
Spiral/Setite Abomination and his Black Fury friend.
"The bad news is, there's a Nexus Crawler down there. The good news is,
I think it ate that puppy I conjured."
-The Silent Strider
-Warriors of the Burning Tears
Mirella: Discribe the house to him Burt. Burt: Does it look like 1313 Mockingbird Lane? Clerk: Yup. Burt: That's it.-Burt of the Burning Tears
Mirella's player made the mistake of reading Burt's background story. . . "You wandered into an enchanted Fae Forrest and spent two months as a puppet with your friend Ernie?????"
Jim: "Follower of Set"? You mean he's a minion of the Lutenint of
Lucifer?
Rift: Oh? Why don't you mention that to him. I'm sure he'll have a very
interesting wall to throw on you.
-Jim and Jer
Ricco: So you want to just drive around untill we run into random bad
luck?
Samuel: Well, it's better than lookin' for it.
-Samuel of The Goon Squad
Samuel: Ya know, I'm sensing a lot of hostility here. Mirella: Yeah, well, that's why they called it "The Rage War".-Samuel and Mirella of the Burning Tears
Mirella: You know V, I don't understand something. V: What? Mirella: Well, you're really into the purity thing. You cook your own food, in your own pots and pans, and *never* anybody else's. V: Uh huh. Mirella: Well, I went to Lazaro's and he made me this drink he said was your favorite. The preporation of which involved him putting a bullet in his mouth and then spitting it out into the drink. V: Hmmmm. Mirella: Didn't bother me, it's a good drink. But now I'm confused. You won't cook in the guy's pots, but you let him spit a bullit into something you're going to drink? V: ::after a pause:: Yeah, well. . . Garou spit is organic.- V and Mirella
Gonzo: "I'm sick of everybody having a weapon but me! I'm gonna give the bell hop fifty bucks and tell him I'll give him a fifty buck tip if he'll go out and get me: a Louievill Slugger baceball bat, a can of blue paint, some shalack, a few paint brushe s, a bunch of newspaper, and a strip of leather."
Storyteller: "Ok, and since this hotel is in the Hight Ashberry aria of San Fransisco it's not an unusual request. About a half an hour later he comes back with the stuff."
Gonzo: "I'll pay him and send him away. Then I'll spred the news papers all around the floor, and paint the bat blue. Can I borrow that klave? I'll give it right back. Thanks, now I take the klave and carve "Slugs the Wyrm" into the bat, really deep. and I shalack it, and wrap the strip of leather around the handle for grip. ((Holds up the bat in a combative stance.)) Ha! Now I'm ready!"
- Gonzo of the Glasswalkers
One of my players was embraced by a Malkav. The curse quickly did its job, and two nights later he embraced his dog. Due to the nature of his clan, you can guess who they appointed as their first Justicar.-Damien M.
A Ravnos: Ok, on the one hand we got these really powerful people who threaten to kill us if we don't go along with them. And on the other hand we got annother group of really powerful people who are doing the same thing. And _then_ there's this loony mathusila who's talkin' "Kindred Sacrifice", but we're prolly safe from him 'cause we're too low a generation, and I think he's talkin' about sacrificing himself. . . However ya just never know. . . An Assamite: Hay!::bonks himself on the head::I got an idea! LET'S LEAVE! I wanna go home. Where it's warm. And people like me.
(Dark Ages)
"Hay, just because I forgive them doesn't mean I have to trust them."
(Dark Ages)
"That's it, I quit. The ramblings of the Antideluvians are no longer my problem."
-Timkin
(W:TA)
"Okay, so we've got a Lupis in Homed with a Homid in Lupis on a leash. . .-BILL