Keeper: No pennies. Michelf: How are we going to play penny ante poker with no pennies? Happy Adam: Silver coins only. Michelf: I'll put them in five at a time, deal with it. Keeper: House rules say. . . Michelf: I LIVE HERE!!!! This IS my house!
So I was at a party the other night and I hear a friend, Eric Hutton, give this
analogy of Hell by comparing it to Gilligan's Island.
He said some guys labeled each of the characters with the Deadly Sins:
Think about it
First off, the Island IS Hell. And. . .
The Prof. = Pride
(If YOU could make a F'n NUCLEAR REACTOR with 2 coconut halves, some twine,
and sand. . .you'd have a bit of an ego too. . .)
Mrs. Howell = Sloth
(That B'ch does NOTHING!!!!)
Mr. Howell = Greed
(He brought Suitcases of money and stuff on a 3 hour tour for God's Sake!)
Ginger = Lust
('Nuff said)
Mary-Anne = Envy
(See above and think about it.)
Now this leaves us with two deadly sins left:
Gluttony and Anger
And two castaways:
The Skipper and Gilligan
Well, Eric said that these guys thought about it and decided that both of those deadly sins fit The Skipper very well. . .
But. . .what does that make Gilligan???
It makes him Satan, who all ways weirs red and sabotages EVERY attempt to
get off the Island, which is Hell.
DAVEDAVE: hey Michelle.....what am i here for? MICHELLE: Abuse. DAVEDAVE: oh ok. . . . DAVEDAVE: but why am i here to get abused. it doesn't seem fair. MICHELLE: Life's not fair. . .if it was it would be a RPG or something, where I wouldn't have to go out and sell printer carterages for money, I'd just go out and kill some orcs. . . DAVEDAVE: that would be kewl.
Storyteller: Okay, so you're all in this *HUGE* inn called ::points to aprions all the GM's are wairing:: "The World's End". It's actually much much bigger then this place we're actually in and there are actually hundreds of people there. So if you try to do anything nasty to anybody about 100 people will glare at you and make you stop. . . And that should cover game mechanics.
Okay, I'll try to nut shell this as best I can for people who either weren't there or can't infer because they don't read much Shakespeare/Comic Books/or both: I'm sitting there and I'm playing a character who's Ariel, a Fairy, from Shakespeare's "The Tempest". And I'm listening to a story being told by a guy playing John Constentene (sp?), an English Bloke who's reputation *always* seems to presede him with considerable knowlage of the Supernatural. (One of the things he knows is that if you accept a gift from the Fae, you will be bound in service to them.) Anyway, there were about 50 of us in this house, in the summer, in California, in the Vally, so I had gone to the game with a full water skin in expectation that it would be very hot. (The temps that night did infact reach over 100 I'm told. And that wasn't just between Mack the Knife and the lovely lady Vampire either.) But back to John's story. . . It was an interesting yarn about how Lucifer wanted to retire so all the gods of anticwity gathered for the key to Hell. Wherein Aphrodite, attempting to win, said, "Love is Hell. Give me the key." And won it. After he finished his story he called for some alcoholic beverage since they didn't seem to have any New Castle Ale at the place. Where I did the only polite thing and offered him some "wine" from my water skin. and he did drink. . . So later I but in to a conversation and he gets a load for my pointy ears . . . John: Let me guess. . .you're a fairy. Ariel: I prefer sprite, if you don't mind. John: Very well, "sprite". . .And don't think for a moment I'm going to accept *any* sort of gift. . . Ariel: But. . .but. . .John? ::holds up water skin:: ::John looks blankly at the skin for a moment, then looks confused then actually recognises the water skin he just drank from:: John: Bloody Hell!-Ariel
". . . So now the air is filled with 4inch long, flying, flameing . . . Cockroaches. Every now and then one would explode in a greazy black cloud of smoke and smoldering bug guts. . . I tell ya, it was a. . . Discustingly beautiful sight."
Student: Are we going to go over that battle today? Prof: No, we'll cover it later, don't worry you'll be able to draw diagrams of these battles by the time we're done. Peanutgallery: Oh! Won't WE be fun at parties!
And later that period. . .
Student: Are we going to be tested on _everything_ you're telling us in this lecture? Prof: Well, not *everything*, for instence I'm not going to ask you "What was the name of Jefferson Davis' plantation" on a. . . Three Voices chime in: Brierfield!
At the end of class. . .
Prof:Okay, that's enough for today. Next time we'll pick up with Jefferson Davis on his plantation on "Lifestyles of the Rich and Confederate"-Michelle the Elf
Cole Half-Dain: "So what happened then?" Asmodean ni'Darethor: "Well, I threw a lightning bolt at it." Raging Fury: "And?" Asmodean: "It burped." Cole Half-Dain: "I think we might have a problem."-Asmodean
(Always make sure you bring enough food to Con with you)
A couple of years ago, we're all sitting in Open Gaming at StrategiCon. (Back when the LAX Wyndem was still the LAX Hyatt or was it a Hilton?) And we're just sitting there not doing anything in particular. Shawn got out a box of pop tarts for his breakfast. It was Sunday afternoon and they were his last two pop tarts. This total stranger rushes up and goes, "Hay! Pop tarts!". He's very excited, and very hungry, and has only $2. And he wants a pop tart. Shawn loves his pop tarts and flatly refuses to give them up for $2. That's when the guy starts begging. It was rather sad. A deal was finally struck. Shawn's pop tarts for the guy's Magic:the Gathering deck. Personally I think Shawn got the short end of the deal.-Katt and Jenn
(Old Saying)
A 2 leter bottle IS a single serving!
(Battletech: Mech Warrior)
LANCE'S FAVORITE NPC Quatro Begina - 0/0 Nat Ap/Nat Ap . . .Zen Mech Bull S**T!
-Shane
(I was told that the previous quote was incomplete. . .)
Add to the above;
". . .And God is on his side!!!!" Yes, folks.... my Mechwarrior PC (in a stock machine) took on the Battletech equivalent of Caine, and Lance had to "forget" ten points of damage (a good, solid, heavy weapon hit) to keep Quatro's mech from being crippled. God, I love self destruct rules.-Todd M.
(A button sombody got at con)
"When all else fails . . . buy the GM pizza." -Lynda
(GURPS - Supers)
"Oh God, we're living the TICK!"-Sha sha shade
(GURPS - Stargate)
Vibro: I don't trust him. Faedrah: You don't have to trust him. All you have to do is not kill him.-Faedrah
(Excerpt from Raven MUD transcript)
Stone says, "Hay Greenie. What's your dam roll?" Greensleeves blinks. Greensleeves says, "Tisk tisk, such language."-Greensleeves
(Very true)
"It sucks to be a plot device." -Niki
(AD&D: The Head of Vecna)
as told by the GM who ran the game.... Many years ago (back when we all were still playing D & D), I ran a game where I pitted two groups against each other. Several members of Group One came up with the idea of luring Group Two into a trap. You remember the Hand of Vecna and the Eye of Vecna that were artifacts in the old D&D world where if you cut off your hand (or your eye) and replaced it with the Hand of Vecna (or the Eye) you'd get new awesome powers? Well, Group One thought up The Head of Vecna. Group One spread rumors all over the countryside (even paying Bards to spread the word about this artifact rumored to exist nearby). They even went so far as to get a real head and place it under some weak traps to help with the illusion. Unfortunately, they forgot to let ALL the members of their group in on the secret plan (I suspect it was because they didn't want the Druid to get caught and tell the enemy about this trap of theirs, or maybe because they didn't want him messing with things). The Druid in group One heard about this new artifact and went off in search of it himself (I believe to help prove himself to the party members...) Well, after much trial and tribulation, he found it; deactivated (or set off) all the traps; and took his "prize" off into the woods for examination. He discovered that it did not radiate magic (a well known trait of artifacts) and smiled gleefully. I wasn't really worried since he was alone and I knew that there was no way he could CUT HIS OWN HEAD OFF. Alas I was mistaken as the Druid promptly summoned some carnivorous apes and instructed them to use his own scimitar and cut his head off (and of course quickly replacing it with the Head of Vecna...) Some time later, Group one decided to find the Druid and to check on the trap. They found the headless body (and the two heads) and realized that they had erred in their plan (besides laughing at the character who had played the Druid)...The Head of Vecna still had BOTH eyes! They corrected this mistake and reset their traps and the Head for it's real intended victims... Group Two, by this time, had heard of the powerful artifact and decided that it bore investigating since, if true, they could use it to destroy Group One. After much trial and tribulation, they found the resting place of The Head of Vecna! The were particularly impressed with the cunning traps surrounding the site (one almost missed his save against the weakest poison known to man). They recovered the Head and made off to a safe area. Group Two actually CAME TO BLOWS (several rounds of fighting) against each other argueing over WHO WOULD GET THEIR HEAD CUT OFF! Several greedy players had to be hurt and restrained before it was decided who would be the recipient of the great powers bestowed by the Head... The magician was selected and one of them promptly cut his head off. As the player was lifting The Head of Vecna to emplace it on it's new body, another argument broke out and they spent several minutes shouting and yelling. Then, finally, they put the Head onto the character. Well, of course, the Head simply fell off the lifeless body. All members of Group Two began yelling and screaming at each other (and at me) and then, on their own, decided that they had let too much time pass between cutting off the head of a hopeful recipient and put the Head of Vecna onto the body. SO THEY DID IT AGAIN!... [killing another PC] In closing, it should be said that I never even cracked a smile as all this was going on. After the second PC was slaughtered, I had to give in (my side was hurting)... And Group Two blamed ME for all of that... So let that be a warning to you - don't let your head get cut off unless you really know what you're doing. -- Bob Apthorpe
(Chatting)
SeanSkyler: How ya' doin', Michelle? DahShae: I'm bleeding profusely thankyou. :) SeanSkyler: Bleeding? Eeew. Well, I'm bleeding profusely 'cuz I had oral surgery. DahShae: Hmmm . . .TOO MANY JOKES!!! AHHHHHHH! ::head implodes:: What you have done to your teeth? SeanSkyler: They cut my gums then pulled them over my head and used a little brush to brush my teeth. As in, above and BELOW the gumline. DahShae: No gingavitis for you John.. . .
SeanSkyler: Me space bar screwed up. DahShae: There there little one. SeanSkyler: I can literally *hear* you saying that in my head. It's too strange. DahShae: Didn't you know? I'm a phycic friend. . . DahShae: <----bad speller. SeanSkyler: Phycic? That stuff was banned. DahShae: From what? SeanSkyler: ..Banning House. DahShae: . . .wow, LA Historical reference. . .I'm impressed John. SeanSkyler: Gee, thanks. That means a lot to me. SeanSkyler: Captain Sincerity. DahShae: ::SNIFF SNIFF:: I smell scarcasum. SeanSkyler: Scarcasum? SeanSkyler: Sounds like a big Indian Undertaker. "Me Scar. Me Case 'um good." DahShae: Just because I was "hooked on Phonix" as a child doesn't meen you should make fun of me. . . SeanSkyler: Actually, it gives me complete legal right to. ::Points to the "Hooked on Phonics" contract:: DahShae: Unfortunately for you, the spelling in that contract is so bad that there are thousands upon thousands of loopholes. . . SeanSkyler: Y'mean lupwholz. DahShae: For instence the part that should read "this agreement alows Little John to bug Michelle with out mercy." was actually spelled. "Little John must attend to Michelle's every whim." SeanSkyler: Oh, right. Like I don't anyway. DahShae: Well, now there a legal presadent. SeanSkyler: But see, since you were Hooked on Phonics, your legal rights are all waived because you're a recovering addict. SeanSkyler: Once you take the drug test in six months, and you're clean, I must serve your every whim. SeanSkyler: Until then, I can mock you mercilessly. DahShae: I've been off Phonix for 18 years now. . .you've got a lot of catching up to do. . . espeshally since you weren't even BORN for the first 3. . . SeanSkyler: ::Cough:: Well, er..but. SeanSkyler: ::Cries and runs off:: DahShae: Ah, trying to get out of you're LEGAL OBLIGATIONS I see! SeanSkyler: ::Stops, runs back:: Your legal obligations. You're is a contraction, short for "You Are."
