Legal Mumbo Jumbo
A lot of the information here in is based on material that is Copyright
White Wolf and Black Dog
Game Studios
(Chatting on ICQ)
Michelf: The only Hungarian you know is "Tezmise"
Apollo: The only Hungarian I know is...
Apollo: I'm Hungry...
Apollo: And I say it really well.
([Web] Ring of [The World of] Darkness Linkmanager Listsrv: "We Don't Really Drink Blood.")
> >And what about bloodpuddings? Is *eating* blood okay? ;)
>
> Can you get Jell-O instant mix for that?
I *don't* think so. "Blood-flavored Jell-O, your children
will *love* it" sounds a little too scary to be marketable. :)
Yanick, who prefer cold lemonade himself
Subject: The Theory of the Ice Cube
From: Burn Cycle
Date: Thu, Oct 8, 1998 6:34 AM
In talking to my friends and players we came up with
the ICE Cube theory of the spheres. so read, enjoy or
hate, but I just want to know how accurate we are.
Corr - I can "teleport" an ice cube from either somewhere,
or no where, but in the end, I have an ice cube.
Entropy - I can cause an ice cube not to decay or decay rapidly.
Forces - I can make it cold enough to form an ice cube, even
in a volcano, instantly.
Life - Flesh shaped into a cube?
Matter - I can form an ice cube at room temp. It would be
room temp. ice, but still ice.
Mind - I can make you think you're an ice cube, or make you think
there is an ice cube present.
Prime - I can give a coke can the properties of an ice cube.
Melt at room temp, expand when frozen, etc
Spirit - I can call to the spirit of the ice cube, or...hmm...well.
Time - All right . .. we're stuck...Beside not melt and quicker freeze
Unity (Sofficticati (sic) -Book of crafts), Dharma (Akashick
Tradition book), Infinite (Book of worlds), etc. The Ice cube
is made up of all above spheres, it can be split into
them individually or become any one.
-enjoy
-almow
duck, the mustard
Subject: Re: the badass trait
From: DahShae, Wanderer, & Indi
Date: Mon, Sep 28, 1998 12:26 AM
>>It might have been a status trait I suppose.
>>
>>But they were probably just bored with the list in Laws of the
>>Night.
>>
>>I remember one time this girl came up to me all proud and she
>>said,
>>Her: "I bought a new physical trait . . . I'm BUFF!" ::she
>> strikes a pose::
>>Me: "Hmmm, I've never heard that one. Is that a 'real'
>> physical trait?"
>>Her: "Shhhhhhhhh! I just want to be *Buff*!"
>>
>>It makes her happy and it's just funny the way she says "Buff",
>>and she would always "flex" her arms when she said it.
>
>Huh. Maybe because her nickname can now be, "Buff-y, the
>Vampire Player"?;>
hehe - reminds me of a recent game:
Big Brujah NPC: That's it! I'm f%?ing pounding him!!
Other ST: Sorry, but I'm pretty sure that "f%?ing" isn't a trait.
The entire game stopped for 3 minutes while people tried to
remember how to breathe...
Subject: Re: What if Pentex was a real company...
From: Blake
Date: Wed, Sep 16, 1998 9:37 AM
(DWynne1223) wrote:
> ...and you knew about it? What would you do?
>
If Pentex were a real company, it would've gone out of business
in the 80's. Corporate raiders would have bought it out, cut it
up, and made a tidy profit. ;) (The era of the huge
conglomerate is largely over... just another example of Werewolf
focusing more on the evils of previous decades.)
I could just picture one of the board of directors trying to
explain the company's failure to his dark master...
"But we just couldn't compete in the post-industrial economy!"
Subject: Re: What if Pentex was a real company...
From: Rob Glunt
Date: Tue, Sep 15, 1998 10:45 AM
AM wrote:
>
>I would go and get a new job, right in the Pentex Company. Screw
>the environment I want money and power. The cool stuff you
>could get and the cool things you could see would be will worth
>my conscience.
Until they started pumping you full of formoral.... :-)
"Here, you'll need this" Gives you shot in the arm. "Ok. Give
that a few minutes to take hold and then I want you to rush that
big furry thing that's bashing down the door."
Rob Glunt
Subject: Re: the badass trait
From: Peter DeGlopper
Date: Sat, Sep 26, 1998 8:27 AM
wrote:
>
> ok I've been larping for awhile. I a couple of games I've run
> across characters with the "badass" trait. I've seen it used as
> a social trait, but have no idea what game system(werewolf,
> mummy, kindred) it's in. Anyone know who gets the trait and
> why?
Dollars to donuts it's just there for humor value. Someone was
joking in one of the games I was in that he wanted "well-oiled"
as a physical trait. Someone else has something like "foolishly
persistent". People just like being able to bid silly/intimidating traits.
-Peter, not especially badass
Subject: Re: Origins of the word TWINK
From: (Steve Dickerson)
Date: Tue, Sep 22, 1998 10:51 AM
On 20 Sep 1998 07:42:57 GMT, "Kenneth"
wrote:
>I was just curious where it came about. I hear it mentioned
>here. I thought that it came from the MUSHES on the internet but
>now figure that is probably wrong. Anyone know where it started?
Do a websearch for 'Twinkie Defense' and you'll likely find the
story. Some guy was in a lawsuit and stated that his violent
actions were caused by the sugar rush from eating too many
Twinkies. When he lost the case, he ended up on the courthouse
steps with a rifle and shot a bunch of people.
A 'twink' is someone who is in a losing position who lashes out
stupidly. I first heard it about five years ago while MUSHing,
when someone had lost an IC girlfriend and decided to gun down an
entire bar full of people. The terminology spread so that now
the word includes basically any 'bad' player.
Subject: Nephandi Spice Girls?
From: (David Skogsberg)
Date: Mon, Feb 9, 1998 08:25 EST
>> What kind of Nephandi are the Spice Girls?
>
> The worst kind.
There are non-worst kinds?
cd
Subject: Re: Suck my wang, I'm a true roleplayer! < love this subject :)
From: Jay Knioum
Date: Fri, 06 Feb 1998 11:01:48 -0600
>Exactly. Players who generate "talking bags" are just a waste
>of Doritos, in my opinion. ;D
Subject: Re: Worst Live Action Vamp Game? (RE: Best ...)
From: (Jay Knioum)
Date: Thu, Jan 8, 1998 13:03 EST
>
> Well, the Best game header got me inspired!
> So, I'm curious what the absolute worst MET experience you guys
> ever had?
As yet, I've only had experience in Convention LARPs, so I have
no idea what a "good" Live-Action game is like... ;)
That said, whole games weren't as bad as individual moments and
experiences that make me VERY wary before attending another
orientation. Here are some of them:
- The ST had allowed two 9-year-old kids to not only play, but to
take one 8th- gen Assamite each. During the beginning of the
game, when all the cities' vamps are in Elysium introducing
themselves to the Prince, the introduction of the Assamites goes
as follows:
Prince: (Trying his best to speak to the children as adults) "And
who are you?"
Kid 1: I'm an Assassimite! I'm here to be psychotic! Prince:
I...see. And you?
Kid 2: I'm an Assassimite, too! I'm here because I hate the
Camarilla!
The Prince promptly adjourned the meeting, had a "conference"
with the psycho and the Cam-hater outside, and the two were not
seen for the rest of the game.
Subject: Re: Clan plurals?
From: Justin R. Achill
Date: Fri, Feb 6, 1998 16:34 EST
>>> I'm wondering, what's the plural version of the Clan names?
>>> Is it a group of Toreador or a lot of Toreadors? How about
>>> all those Ventrue over there or look at all those Ventrues?
>
>"That buncha pansy-assed limp-wristed painter freaks" and "That
> buncha scum-sucking politician-wannabe lawyer freaks" would
> work pretty well, I think.
>
Subject: Re: Worst Live Action Vamp Game? (RE: Best ...)
From: (Jay Knioum)
Date: Thu, Jan 8, 1998 13:03 EST
- Another Con LARP. This time, I'm playing a Samedi and am very
much in costume (Ick, indeed). Things started off well enough.
However, due to a miscommunication between the hotel management
and the Con organizer, the LARPers thought they had full run of
the hotel. Nope. A dozen pissed-off hotel guests and one badly
frightened poodle later, we were confined to the top floor
meeting rooms.
Now, since there were so many players, only one floor to play on,
and there was a *convention* happening at the same time, things
upstairs were cramped beyond belief. Worse, half of us were
bizarre-looking LARPers, and the other half were non-bathing
gamers of various types. Ew.
Also on the top floor is a restaurant, the entrance of which was
right smack in the middle of LARP country. Out of nowhere, the
restaurant manager storms out of the restaurant and points at the
very overfilled trash bins in front of the restaurant door (which
the LARPers had nothing to do with), and loudly demands that some
of us *get this damn trash away from the restaurant entrance* a
demand that became more insistent and shrill with each second.
Knowing that we were already on thin ice with the management
because the Con organizer couldn't communicate, I reluctantly
agreed to help remove the garbage, if for no better reason to
shut her up.
So. There I was, in *full Samedi wear* carrying a bloated bag of
garbage on a crowded elevator crammed with hotel guests. I could
not surpress the urge to look at one of the guests, grin at them,
nod at the bag and say, "lunch."
It was embarrassing as hell, but I will never forget the look on
those guests' faces as they practically threw themselves out the
door when the elevator finally stopped.
Subject: Re: Worst Live Action Vamp Game? (RE: Best ...)
From: (Jay Knioum)
Date: Thu, Jan 8, 1998 13:03 EST
- Then there was the yahoo at that same LARP who loudly and
desperately tried to convince the Storyteller that he *could SO*
attach little masonry jars full of Nitroglycerine (with remote
detonators) to the backs of other characters without their
knowledge.
Subject: Re: Worst Live Action Vamp Game? (RE: Best ...)
From: (Jay Knioum)
Date: Thu, Jan 8, 1998 13:03 EST
- Another Con LARP. It's the Cam vs. the Sabbat vs. the Setites
vs. the Garou vs. the Children of Osiris. But wait, there's
more! :D
The whole plot of the game revolved around a cluster of CoO and
two Mummies who were trying to complete a ritual to raise Osiris.
They were performing the ritual in a cabin, supposedly directly
above the old boy's burial spot. (I bet world archaeological
circles would have gone into collective apoplexy if they found
out an Egyptian god was buried in Texas.)
Now, on the other side of the coin, the Setites naturally would
want to stop this from happening. Apparently, the clan had been
fully briefed as to not only the existence of the Children of
Osiris, but of O-man's interment in the Friendship State. These
Setites, however, were not so informed as to the identity of
their leader, whose player in turn was not informed he indeed had
followers and a Temple. (Those trivial details had been left off
of the character sheets...no big deal, right?)
Well. Most of the Setites, leader included, die in the first
hour without being aware of each other. The Sabbat start
Vicissituding plastique into newly embraced Childer, send them
into Elysium, and blow the sucker sky-high. The Garou (played
almost exclusively by 15-year-old male combat worshippers) get
bored and mill about looking for something to scratch, eat and
destroy.
The Camarilla is a joke. They spend the game policing their own
for traitors and just try to keep from dying. Defectors to the
Sabbat are so numerous it looks like Registration Day at a trade
school.
Things got so out of hand that the Sabbat had to resort to using
a mere Apache helicopter to level the warded cabin because
[quote] "We couldn't get the nuke through customs." [endquote]
Even so, the Osirans, the Mummies, and their Garou allies escaped
by means of Flight Potions. However, the ritual is stopped,
right? Wrong-o. The Storytellers declared that the ritual's
success was inevitable, and built into the plot. No matter WHAT
happened, it would succeed. Apparently, the Storytellers retro-
fitted the excuse that the ritual actually took place in the
Umbra, but I've heard a dozen variations of the full story.
So anyway, Osiris rises from the ashes of the cabin in all his
splendor and ancient glory. Actually, it's one of the
Storytellers wearing a blue toga with two foil doughnuts strapped
to his head. I am NOT making this up.
He whines something about punishing the evildoers and waves his
arm around. As the ST described, a hundred fiery meteors crash
into the area from the heavens, eradicating the FBI, the cops,
the press, the religious nuts and the tourists who had gathered
around this cabin (it had become sort of another Waco incident
through combined use of Law Enforcement and Media influences),
but sparing the Sabbat leaders and the few surviving Setites who
were watching the whole thing on monitors a few hundred miles
away. Score one for the Nile! (NOT)
That ended the game, needless to say.
Subject: Re: Worst Live Action Vamp Game? (RE: Best ...)
From: Greg Shetler
Date: Wed, Jan 7, 1998 11:28 EST
Plots that were now resorting to using the *Clan Founders* ("I'm
Gangrel, don't you recognize me? Hey, Nosferatu, tell them who I am,
would you?"
Subject: Re: (humor attempt) Chef a Mage ?
Date: Thu, Jan 22, 1998 21:09 EST
> (BTW, Homer Simpson is an Akashic Brother trapped in a
> truly horrifying Paradox Realm, with his magickal powers
> suppressed by a New World Order mental block - whenever
> he tries something, instead of displays of sublime martial
> prowess, all he can do is shout "Do!")
Yes, I changed the format, it's less typing for me this
way.
Subject: Re: Worst Live Action Vamp Game? (RE: Best ...)
From: "Geoffrey Brent"
Date: Fri, Jan 9, 1998 01:19 EST
The only good thing about pretentiousness is that it gives bad
roleplayers something to do that's less objectionable than
powergaming.
Subject: Re: Worst Live Action Vamp Game? (RE: Best ...)
From: "Geoffrey Brent"
Date: Fri, Jan 9, 1998 01:19 EST
The only good thing about pretentiousness is that it gives bad
roleplayers something to do that's less objectionable than
powergaming.
Geoffrey Brent
Subject: Re: IC: Rick's Cafe American
From:(MacWolfen)
Date: Fri, Nov 21, 1997 11:34 PM
jaysunf@aol.com (Jaysunf) writes:
>>>> "It might be fun for you, but not for me. Besides, from what I've
>>>> been told, I've already done it once."
>>> "What's it like?"
>> "Irritating..."
> "Like a Star Trek convention!?"
"No.."
::Grimace::
"Like a Babylon 5 convention..."
::Shiver::
> Nuku
Ed
Subject: Re: IC: Rick's Cafe American
Date: Tue, Nov 18, 1997 1:04 PM
>> ::sighs the sigh of the sadly resigned and nods::
>> "Yeah, there's always something bigger and older and more out
>> of wack with 'nature'. It's like being a guppy at the bottom of
>> a pond watching all the bigger fish eat each other as they're
>> fighting over who'll get to eat you."
>
>"That's usually when the great white comes into play.."
>
>> -Rowan
>> Waxing philosophic
>
>Ed
>Waning reality
Subject: Re: IC: Rick's Cafe American
From: Nuku
Date: Thu, Nov 13, 1997 16:19 EST
>>"I'm sorry, would you like me to restate it?"
>"My dear, I don't give a whooping funt what you do!"
::furrows brow::
"Whooping funt?"
>"So... Why do you have a pack of garou shoved up your rear?"
Subject: Humorous poetry for Vampire
From: pag1
Date: Tue, Nov 11, 1997 04:59 EST
This is a poem that my friend made up, inspired by the increasingly
tepid quotes WW put at the top of all their paragraphs. Every single
one.
Black, Black, Ovarian Pain
The gulls of the night peck out mine eyes
And once more the black, thick blood of angst
Trickle down my snow-white throat
The pain
The angst
The ankhs
The arse
The fake silver jewelry and badly died hair
Oh and the leather jackets with studs of course
er... And Some Punks
Heavy metal blood pounds through my larynx
I scream at the damned who damn me thus
But it just comes out as "bugger"
Now I am a cliche-ridden creature of the night
And I wear black a lot
Which means my wardrobe is considerably smaller but hey
Virgins and stuff, repressed sexuality
Sexual creatures but we can't have sex
No change there then
I hope vampires can still masturbate furiously
Ventrue jacking off on velvet sheets with a photo of his
nephews
Toreador ejaculating violently over a dying swan
Nosferatu yanking away with a moldy shitridden bestiality
jazzmag
Malkavians screaming with desire at the sight of a man
pretending
to be a cat and supping at a bowl of honey
Is this what we've become?
Monsters we are lest monsters we find
under the bed.
-Crunchy Leroy Shenanigan.
Subject: Re: IC: Rick's Cafe Americain
Date: Mon, Nov 10, 1997 9:00 PM
>> Furg
>> Since when did the Muppets become evil?
> Nuku
> About the time of 'Sleep 'n Snore Ernie'
Subject: IC: Rick's Cafe American
From: Rowan, Ed, Nuku
Date: Thu, 30 Oct 1997 14:02:09 -0800
>> ::Rowan gives him a look, it's a playfull look, you think::
>::Sigh::
>"Why is it EVERYBODY knows more than they let on?"
"Because if we all said every thing we 'knew' we'd all find out we're
wrong...."
Subject: Re: IC: Rick's Cafe American
From: Nuku
Date: Wed, Nov 5, 1997 17:48 EST
Can a Get, A Chouster, and a Malk live under the same roof?
Next time on, the Real World of Darkness.
Subject: Re: Werewolf in Texas
From: Eric Gross
Date: 16 Sep 1997 23:30:39 GMT
> I'm all fer it, but only if y'all let me have muh own character
> template thingy. "Reluctant Redneck"- sort of like the Setite template
> for the plain vanilla person who doesn't want to be a Setite. Try as I
> might I can't seem to shake the inbred (Lousy pun intended) weakness for
> big-haired women in tube tops and funny songs by David Allen Coe and
> Travis Tritt (you can't go wrong with "Longhaired Redneck" and "Here's a
> Quarter, Call Someone Who Cares"). Just remember to include a price list
> for a variety of shotguns, pickup trucks and gunracks, and maybe
> Bullriding as a talent. Maybe even a new set of combat maneuvers for
> "Bar Brawlin'" or "Ass-Whuppin'" and a little "Lexicon" section for some
> of the more colorful Redneck slang.
> Damn, now that you've gotten me going on this I won't be happy
> until I've written some sort of homebrew version. Guess I better pay the
> late fee at the video store so i can rent _White Lightnin'_ and _Gator_
> for research.
> Eric (whose red neck hasn't quite faded to pink)
Subject: Re: Jedi Knights in the WoD
From: Atreides
Date: Wed, Oct 15, 1997 00:22 EDT
J. Coke wrote:
>
> Willeverbody stop trying to make stupid crossovers!!!!
>You might as
> well mix the Care Bears and Shadowrun. Only a mood blind munchkin would
> even consider the idea!
Are you saying that my Wraith/Teddy Ruxpin Umbral Quest Crossover isn't
a good idea?
Subject: Re: IC: Rick's Cafe Americain
From: (Justine Rogers)
Date: Mon, 15 Sep 97 18:52:34 GMT
"Terry Hill" writes:
> on 13 Sep 97, Justine wrote...
>
> > >"I've gone toe to toe with a Garou."
> >
> >"Why not hand to hand?
>
> "I was steering at the time."
Subject: Re: Weird old WoD
From: Joel Kinstle
Date: 29 Aug 1997 15:24:59 GMT
Tor Iver Wilhelmsen wrote:
>>Does anybody out there know where we could find the pre-Disney versions
>>of all these fairy tales?
>
>You would be hard pressed: The most common versions are those
>collected by the brothers Grimm, and IIRC they "censored" the fairy
>tales.
That's practically true, but not quite. The Grimms did not censor their
fairy tales. Some (actually, most) are pretty explicit and unpleasant.
Some of their details are mistranslations, but not to the point where the
flavor really suffers at all.
The problem is with the publishers. Most collections of Grimms are
editted. If you get an uneditted compilation, you're all set.
The easiest place to check is Snow White. If it ends with a kiss and
happily ever after, it's been editted for modern children. If it ends
with the stepmother hideously ugly and dancing in white hot iron shoes
that have been clamped on her feet for the entertainment of the wedding
party (until she dances herself to death for a good joke), then it's not
editted.
Joel Kinstle
Subject: Re: MAGE Developer Trashes White Wolf Fans
From: Jalaroc
Date: 5 Sep 1997 15:23:49 GMT
You know, Dragon Magazine printed some of their slushpile in one of their
april fool's editions.
best one that springs to mind"(name) was a cruel elven farmer, he was so
cruel he would torture pigs just for being pigs" or something like that-
they are worth a read as well.
Subject: Re: Garou Tribes
From: Harley Beckett
Date: Mon, 15 Sep 97 18:29:44 GMT
on 15 Sep 97, Michelle the Elf wrote...
>
>In article <5v7mcq$18qa$1@newssvr03-int.news.prodigy.com>,
>TTRG33B wrote:
>
>>As the storyteller, I want the father of one of my (unsuspecting)
>>characters to have been a Black Spiral Dancer. Does her being born of a
>>Black Spiral negate the present tribe she's in (which is Silver Fang,
>>BTW)? This is assuming that her father was a Silver Fang before he
>>became a Black Spiral.
>
>I heard it mattered what tribe the mother was from. ((Kinda like being
>Jewish.))
>
Only with claws ;)
Harley Beckett
Subject: Formulaic?
From: cgrimm@remove_this_spamblocker.2456.com (Casey Grimm)
Date: 16 Sep 1997 00:40:30 GMT
Message-id: <5vkkhu$hgr$0@209.66.81.66>
Is it just me, or have the Storyteller games suffered a bit of
formulaic banality? It seems the major premises are:
Use your [ability] to protect [goal] without letting the normal humans
know you exist.
Vampire: Use your [disciplines] to protect [your humanity and unlife]
without letting the normal humans know you exist.
Mage: Use your [spheres] to protect [your paradigm] without letting
the normal humans know you exist.
Werewolf: Use your [rage] to protect [Gaia] without letting the
normal humans know you exist.
Changeling: Use your [cantrips] to protect [The Dreaming] without
letting the normal humans know you exist.
Wraith: I dunno, never played it.
I'm hoping Aeon will break away from this, so we won't be playing "Use
your [psionics] to protect [Big Brother] without letting the normal
humans know you exist."
-c.
From: Coyote895
Date: 4 Sep 1997 20:53:29 GMT
All I can say is, May the fleas of a thousand camels
infest your armpits
- The Mad Coyote What Howls Around 5:30 or So
Subject: Re: Werewolf in Texas
From: (Eric David Gross)
Date: 17 Sep 1997 17:42:26 GMT
In a previous article, Michelle the Elf says:
>> In some other article, some guy wrote:
>>
>>I'm currently writing up a chronicle for Texas.
>>If anyone could help me with books i should get (NOT WILD WEST), or any
>>info on Texas that would help, that'd be great....
>
>I remember, like, several months ago somebody said that there shoud be a
>WOD: Rednecks book. Just like for Gypsies. . .
>
>Did that ever take off?
>
I'm all fer it, but only if y'all let me have muh own character
template thingy. "Reluctant Redneck"- sort of like the Setite template
for the plain vanilla person who doesn't want to be a Setite. Try as I
might I can't seem to shake the inbred (Lousy pun intended) weakness for
big-haired women in tube tops and funny songs by David Allen Coe and
Travis Tritt (you can't go wrong with "Longhaired Redneck" and "Here's a
Quarter, Call Someone Who Cares"). Just remember to include a price list
for a variety of shotguns, pickup trucks and gunracks, and maybe
Bullriding as a talent. Maybe even a new set of combat maneuvers for
"Bar Brawlin'" or "Ass-Whuppin'" and a little "Lexicon" section for some
of the more colorful Redneck slang.
Damn, now that you've gotten me going on this I won't be happy
until I've written some sort of homebrew version. Guess I better pay the
late fee at the video store so i can rent _White Lightnin'_ and _Gator_
for research.
Eric (whose red neck hasn't quite faded to pink)
Date: Sun, 20 Apr 1997 18:44:08 GMT
From: Kestrel the Fairly Decent Dragon
Newsgroups: alt.games.whitewolf
Subject: Re: Wraith
Croatan wrote:
>> > Actually I don't find vampires to be all that discriminating in their
>> > recruitment policies in general, and any fool can be a werewolf. My
>Actually only 1 in every 30-40,000 fools can be a werewolf
Or one in every 4000 with a few rugs and a little ritual ;>
Date: Thu, 17 Apr 1997 13:23:42 -0400
From: flagator
Newsgroups: rec.games.frp.storyteller, alt.games.whitewolf
Subject: Re: Wyrm Taint as Trait / Descriptions of Wyrm Taint
> > > There's also the consideration a human is part of the natural cycle; not
> > > only do we excrete and give stuff back that way eventually we die and
> > > our parts decay and go back into the enviroment. Vampires of course do
> > > neither.
> >
> > Aren't vampires just helping the cycle along?
>
> But they don't contribute themselves! Part of nature's cycle could
> arguably be that eventually all predators must die and become via
> scavengers a part of nature again (their components are taken up by
> plants after digestion and go back through the food chain again).
> Immortal vampires don't ever become part of this again (even when they
> Final Death they turn to dust).
Thank you, Simba and Mufasa... now everybody sing along!
o/~ "It's the Ciiiiiiirrrrcle.... the Ciiiiirrrrrrcle of Liiiiiiiiiiife!" o/~
Date: 20 Apr 1997 02:15:36 GMT
From: mirober
Newsgroups: alt.games.whitewolf
Subject: Re: selling handmade goth cloaks!
In article <5jafua$4ts@ecom6.ecn.bgu.edu>
mudgb4@uxa.ecn.bgu.edu (Donald G Bixler) writes:
>
> Are they made with real goths?
Goth Cloaks
What Red Talons make when they need cash and there is a group of Hollow
Ones lurking about.
Date: Wed, 09 Apr 1997 01:00:36 GMT
From: Kevin Andrew Murphy
Newsgroups: alt.games.whitewolf
Subject: Re: Mage Films/TV
(mark.wilkin) wrote:
Of course, you can put anything in Mage terms if you really care to.
A friend and I, on a car trip this weekend, speculated about The Dukes
of Hazard in Mage terms. We deciced that Cletus was a Son of Ether
with the Dukes as his partially Awakened acolytes who could use the
General Lee, which was a powerful, mostly coincidental Matter/Forces
Device. Daisy was a modern Verbena who could use either the General
Lee or her jeep for her Forces/Correspondence effects.
Boss Hogg was of course the local Syndicate boss, who was busy
fleecing the citified Technocrats by asking for more money to catch
"Them Dukes" while Enus was what happened when the Progegitors decided
to make a new MiB prototype and mixed in too much Gomer Pyle and
Dudley Do-Right DNA (and quickly shuffled off such an embarrassing
mistake to a backwater county where it could be written off as local
inbreeding).
The same logic can of course be applied to the A-Team or any other
silly action show.
Kevin Murphy
Date: Wed, 09 Apr 1997 16:58:28 GMT
From: Kevin Andrew Murphy
Newsgroups: alt.games.whitewolf
Subject: Re: Mage Films/TV
(James Richard Owens) wrote:
>: >mark.wilkin wrote:
>: >> What Films and TV programs do you think go well with Mage.
>The very earliest Scooby Doo episodes portray three Marauders(Shag, Scoob, and
>"The Evil Guy") working together to awaken three acolytes(Velma, Fred,
>Daphne). Can't let Scrappy or that stupid first cousin of Scoob's get in
>there, it's an entirely different show. Nor take any examples from the
>"movies" with the special guests (Mama Cass, Three Stooges, Batman & Robin.
>Again, entirely different and non-magickal shows whatsoever.
Personally, I'd say that Shaggy and Scooby are both Bonegnawer
Ragabashes, one homid, one lupus. And of course Velma is the Black
Fury Theurge Metis with the bad sight deformity "Can you help me find
my glasses? I can't see a thing without my glasses..."
Kevin Andrew Murphy
Date: 22 Mar 1997 17:14:28 GMT
From: Urza
Newsgroups: alt.games.whitewolf
Subject: Re: Is roleplaying dangerous? (if course I know it's not but how about others)
>I have never commited suicide.
Gee, ya think?
Date: 21 Mar 1997 00:02:18 -0800
From: "Deirdre M. Brooks"
Newsgroups: alt.games.whitewolf
Subject: Re: Drinking your own blood?
(Urza243457) writes:
>I may get a few flames for stupidity here, but I just want to be sure of
>the answer here:
>What happens when a vampire drinks his own blood? Three times? All of it?
>Can you Diablerize yourself?
Someone's bound to say it anyway...
The vampire will go blind.
Date: 17 Mar 1997 20:03:53 GMT
From: Brian Thomas Habing
Newsgroups: alt.games.whitewolf
Subject: Re: Baba Yaga's back and there's going to be trouble
Lonesome Cowboy Brian writes:
>Sorry, but you forgot the biggest _if_ of all. This entire discussion
>only works _if_ a mage in North America actually cares about hunting
>down and destroying the subject of an old folk tale who never leaves
>Russia let alone has much interaction with our mage clear on the other
>side of the Atlantic. That's the biggest one I've seen.
>Maybe someone could tell me what incentive the players would have to
>take some sort of action against Baba Yaga, but I don't see it happening
Because you read about her hut in an old Dragon magazine and think
it would be really awesome compared to the mobile home you currently
work out of...
Date: 16 Apr 1997 16:18:50 GMT
From: Mighty MegaBee
Newsgroups: alt.games.whitewolf
Subject: Re: Mage Films/TV
Kyle Anderson Felker wrote:
> My Lord, the Umbrood Spirit David Johnston reports:
> : I always thought KITT should have just dumped Hasselhof and gone around
> : fighting crime on it's own.
> You know, it's really bad when you can be upstaged by a talking car.
But it was a really _cool_ talking car.
Date: 4 May 1997 05:07:58 GMT
From: M-Zodiac
Newsgroups: alt.games.whitewolf
Subject: Re: Bastet
.
> Arcadia wrote:
> Mr. Kurtz wrote:
> "Cat" wrote:
>
> >>> Does anyone know the proper pronunciation for the Bastet tribe
> >>> Ceilican?
>
> >> "Ceili" in Gaelic is pronounced roughly "cayley," so I'd say
> >> "Cay-ley-can" (accent on the first syllable.)
>
> > So what does "Ceili" mean?
>
> From the Gaelic, "top of a building." (hence the English "ceiling.")
>
> Thus 'Ceilican,' translated, literally means 'cat on a hot tin roof.'
>
>
> *chuckle*
> -- S. Skoog
> --
From: Steve Oldridge
Newsgroups: alt.games.whitewolf
Psychiatrists say that one out of four people is mentally ill. Check
three friends. If they're okay, you're the Malkavian.
Date: 15 Apr 1997 02:22:24 GMT
From: Nic Morgan
Newsgroups: rec.games.frp.storyteller
Subject: Re: Everything I Needed to Know I Learned in the World of Darkness
This is a funny coincidence.
> > * When in doubt, blame it on the Nosferatu, or possibly
> > on the Celestial Chorus. *
>
> nononono
> always blame it on the TREMERE!!!
> the TREMERE did it
>
> the tremere killed lincoln (and kennedy)
> the tremere are behind bad TV
> the tremere put MSG in your food
> the tremere sold your mother into slavery
> the tremere gave the spicegirls a record deal
>
> it's all the tremere's fault!
There is a Tremere in my story, Richard who is an ex-record company exec.
who made his money promoting Glamour Rock in the Eighties (he was going for
major league evil on this character), in his prelude poisoned one of his
clients and sold his wife into slavery. 3 for 5 isn't bad - I'll bet most
Tremere couldn't claim more than one on that list.
(Transcript from chatroom at WW Homepage)
Truce! You started it though. My charcter
is trying to be friend ly and you try to kill me. I don't call that
insult. Just informal. Now you see where I'm coming from. I
know that it's cool if we have differing opinions but you stepped on me
for no reason.
-The Cute Little Walking Puppet
From: S. Skoog
Newsgroups: alt.games.whitewolf
Subject: Re: WW Developer Question (WolfMail)
WolfMail wrote:
> What favorite pastime of man has a tendency to produce the most
> wraiths in the quickest time?
Umm... distributing tantalizing hints without elaborating further?
> What single event/time period did this pastime come into its own, i.e.
> become methodical, refined, and the pinnacle of horrific?
Hmm. I'd say circa '93 or '94 -- when White Wolf reps started making
their presence known online. ;)
So 'fess up, already!
From: "James W. Hertsch III"
Newsgroups: alt.games.whitewolf
Subject: Powerful??
I have a question:
Of the Malkavians, Marauders, and Nuwisha, which is most likely to
be able to paint a moustache on Baba Yaga's face. . . . and live?
From: James Desborough
Newsgroups:alt.virtual-adepts
Subject: Re: IC:Club belasco
"When was the last time you saw a burning blue man made of people?"
From: Doktor Drew
Newsgroups: alt.games.whitewolf
Subject: Re: Possible last word on Elvis ...
>
> The Elvii
>
> The Elvii are an odd little race of Umbral Elvis fans.
> Most simply behave as mortal Elvis fans, hanging out around Graceland
> and Las Vegas, looking for records, tapes and other memorobilia.
> Some of them collect other Elvis fans. They provide Elvis-related insights
> and abilities in exchange for physical contact with sacred Elvis sites and
> objects. Sometimes the symbiosis becomes so intense they form a link with
> the higher Elvis-consciousness and an Elvis "sighting" spontaneously
> manifests.
>
From: Luke Slater
Newsgroups: alt.games.vampire.tremere
Subject: Halloween at St. Pancras Chantry
On Thu, 6 Mar 1997, Ian Turner wrote:
> Luke Slater wrote:
> > Absolutely. You should see Kamal (big old Gangrel, but he's kind
> > of an honourary Gargoyle, 'cos he's got wings and stuff) after a few
> > pints of vodka-laced vitae. Of course; having more Gargoyles than
> > Tremere, plus Kamal, Halloween at St. Pancras is kind of cheap on the
> > costumes. One of my Gargoyles even insists on trick or treating every
> > year (funny, people always give him loads of stuff).
>
> For costumes I have found flowing white robes, a serene expression and a
> surgically implanted third eye to be quite fun. For this Halloween I
> have already ordered special contacts colored black with gold irises,
> although I have yet to figure out how I am going to work the tongue.
> I have acquired a ritual that duplicates the snake form nicely and I am
> going to have myself shipped in a sarcophagus to the Chantry and come
> out of the wrappings in snake form and then coalesce into myself, pick
> up a canopic jar holding a heart (sheep, I think) and go about the
> party. Should be a hoot, although I am sure someone will upstage me...
<>
>
> Our lead Gargoyle showed up dripping wet draped with seaweed over his
> gray-green motley hide, wings splayed and with thrashing facial
> tentacles! You could have heard a heart beat... Then he removed the
> octopus from his mouth and apologized saying that it was just a joke!
<>
>
> Dr Pemberton.
>
Max, our Gargoyle trick or treater, is not quite so inventive
("Hello Max, what are you this year?""I'm a bat-winged daemon.""Again; my
you do have that one down pat.") Dear me. Alas, the great leaps and bounds
in Gargoyle evolution appear to have passed Max by completely; in fact,
passed by my entire 'staff'. Ah well, never mind; they're good at what
they do, and that's what counts.
Toodle-oo.
Angelica.
From:Deadguy
Newsgroups: alt.games.whitewolf
Subject: Re: Vampire: the downward spiral?
Winter wrote:
>
> -=Rick=- wrote:
> >
> > Ok Winter, what is with the 'Crowbar' bit? They WW kids in their cubes
> > keep posting cryptic veiled comments, but the rest of us are in the
> > dark. (Hsst! Cursed Black Dog Games... we knows they is of the Wyrm,
> > Precious!)
>
> hmmm
> got me
> always figured WW staff ppl refered to the crowbar as a method of
> delicately editing and reworking a book
> or something
>
> i was simply commenting on the over abundance of Soulforged items over
> at Wraith-list
> we've got a toastrack, an ashtray, a spamcan and a few others
> i figured a crowbar would come in handy
ACtually, no.
There is a crowbar.
A real one.
I found it many, many years ago, just sitting there, complacently, in
the grass of the front lawn of Wesleyan university. And I said to
myself, "Boy, do I know a lot of complete and utter psychos who
shouldn't get their hands on this." so I took the nice, cherry-red,
steel crowbar home with me, and I've had it ever since.
For the past two years I've kept it in my office, where it has been of
tremendous use in A)the move, B)chasing down members of the marketing
department who screw with my product lines, and C)discouraging
over-friendly interns. It's also been very helpful in ensuring that I
get the privacy I want when I need to write - there's nothing like the
good, meaty *smack* of crowbar against palm to convince someone you
*really* don't want them around...
*evil grin*
the deadguy
From: Deadguy
Newsgroups: alt.games.whitewolf
Subject: Re: Silly Rumours (Was Re: Anyone from White Wolf)
> No, the truth is that we're selling Danksy to the aliens who bought
> Mark's soul.
If they give me an office instead of a cubicle, I'll go willingly.
And I'll leave the crowbar behind.
From: Stunt Borg
Newsgroups: alt.games.whitewolf
Subject: Elfpants (was Re: Justin: The Useless Developer?)
On Mon, 10 Mar 1997, Ethan Skemp wrote:
> Justin R Achilli wrote:
> >
> > Yes. You must now write Dark Ages Clanbook:Elfpants
>
> Oooh! Ow! Ouch! Uh.....okay.
>
> <1>The Beginning
> From the dawn of time, we have worn the pantaloons of the fae. And
> yet we have been mocked by those who would call themselves our peers,
> mocked for our seemingly "outre" choices in whimsical legwear. Ah, the
> pain...
>
> I'll have to get back to you on a Discipline.
Clan Disciplines: Presence, Chimerstry, Textilia
Textilia 1 - Unseelie Wedgie
One pants-wearing target in sight is afflicted with an inhumanly
painful wedgie. Roll Manipulation+Textile Lore (diff 7). Each
success removes one from the target's dice pools until the
target spends an action to correct the pants. Multiple Unseelie
Wedgies have no cumulative effect - the Wedgie with the most
successes takes precedence.
Textilia 2 - Hammer Pants
Provided that the Elfpants is wearing legwear, she can spin
around rapidly and inflate her pants to grossly distended
proportions. If doing nothing else, the Kindred can use these
spinning, puffy pants to execute a controlled fall without
damage. In high winds, the spinning pants may even provide lift.
This power may be used offensively. By spending a Blood Point,
the Kindred may turn the legwear of any target within sight into
Hammer pants for the duration of the scene. These Hammer pants
do not have the flying powers accorded to the Kindred's pants,
but may be targeted by any other affect within this Discipline.
Textilia 3 - Strutting the Catwalk
One pants-wearing target in sight finds his pants possessed of
the need to sway and strut and spin as if on fashion revue. The
Kindred spends a Blood Point and rolls Manipulation+Textile Lore
(diff 7). Each success causes the targeted pants to act of their
own accord for one turn. The target can resist the movement (so
as not to be walked off a ledge for example) but the best that
can be achieved is stillness, and this consumes all of the
target's effort (one full dice pool each affected turn). The
target cannot Dodge or Stealth at all, and all difficulties for
Brawl or Melee are made worse by 4.
Textilia 4 - Abyssmal Combustion of the Prevaricator
The Kindred, upon hearing what she believes to be a falsehood
from someone within line of sight, may spend a Blood Point. If
the perceived falsehood was a deliberate lie by the target, the
target's pants explode in a ball of flame, inflicting 5 Levels
of Aggravated Fire Damage to the target. If the statement was
true, or if the target actually _believes_ that the statement
was correct, even if it is not true in fact, nothing happens to
the target's pants. The legwear explosion will not set anything
else aflame.
Textilia 5 - Pajama Party
By invoking the holy powers of the Franky and Annette movies,
the Kindred may convert all dresses, swimsuits, pants, shorts,
or other works of legwear into snuggly warm pajamas that force
their bearers to run to the nearest wholesome party location.
The Kindred spends a Willpower point and rolls Manipulation
+Textile Lore (diff 7). Each success transforms the legwear of
one target into slave-pajamas. The effects last for the duration
of the scene. The gyrations may be resisted as under _Strutting
the Catwalk_.
If the Kindred is on a beach when invoking this power, the
difficulty is reduced to 5, and the torso clothing of the
targets will be turned into slave-pajamas as well.
If a live performance of Little Richard, Chuck Berry, or
Fishbone is occurring within earshot of the Kindred when this
power is invoked, all targets within sight are affected and
become willing slaves to the magic. The Kindred must lead them
in a new dance step, completely pointless and made up off the
top of her head. The effects last for a scene or until the dance
ends, whichever takes longer.
Textilia 6 - The Reich Stuff
The Kindred spends a Willpower point and must score one success
on a Manipulation+Textile Lore (diff 7) roll. All pants-wearing
individuals within sight that the Kindred wishes to harm may be
affected. All targets are affected by a variant of _Strutting
the Catwalk_. They begin to goosestep in unison, in a direction
or path determined by the Kindred.
There are no known Elfpants below 7th Generation, although rumors of
great Costume Lords in New York and London are rumored to be able to
convert entire crowds into spontaneous street musicals.
(A reaction to level 5 of the Dicipline above)
From: K Kuhn
Newsgroups: alt.games.whitewolf
Subject: Re: Elfpants (was Re: Justin: The Useless Developer?)
>Finally an explanation for the Macarena!
I thought that was the Dance of the Black Spiral. . .
From: Frenzamatic5000
Newsgroups: alt.games.whitewolf
Subject: Re: Werewolf
Michelle Buford wrote:
> How do you soak in silver?
>
If its molten....
Painfully....ouch, ouch, ouch.
From: ThresholdMURPE
Newsgroups: alt.games.whitewolf
Subject: Re: White Monks
>>ÃDose any one know who the white monks are
>>
The white monks are the ones that don't get out in the sun much.
-Aristotle@ThresholdMURPE
From: Anders Sandberg
Newsgroups: alt.games.whitewolf
Subject: Re: White Monks
Hakon:
>Dose any one know who the white monks are
The red monks do.
From: D Davis
Newsgroups: alt.games.whitewolf
Subject: Re: Six degrees of Separation: Garou Kinfolk
The 6 degrees of seperation goes like this: Pick any well known
or famous individual, or just anyone in the world, and within 6 degrees
( or less ) you can find some connection to this individual. Such as, your
cousin has a friend that works with someone that graduated from the same
class as someone who is related to someone that carpools with someone who
lived in the same dorm as the target individual. If you count, there are
only 6 people between you and the individual, and supposedly this could
be done with anyone.
In the World of Darkness, I suppose you could add a few other
kind of connections into the mix: such as someone is Ghouled to a Vampire
who fought a Garou who had a spell cast on him by a Mage . . .
From: Theslin Wanders-through-Bramble
Newsgroups: alt.games.whitewolf
Subject: Re: IC: Rick's Cafe Americain
Coda seems suitibly pleased by this present, and after a moment the
butterflies have spread from his hand to dot his clothes like
fluttering...randomly scattered things that flutter.
Newsgroups: alt.games.whitewolf
Subject: Re: IC: Rick's Cafe Americain
> "Why must everybody have an opinion?"
"Because if only one person had an opinion it would be a consensus."
-Ekisya
Newsgroups: alt.magick.virtual-adepts
Subject: Re: New Virtual Adept to know the gangrel
>People who don't know the difference between library fines and the total
>destruction of reality should not be playing White Wolf games.
>From working in a Library, I'm not sure there is a difference. Many
odd things happen in a Library, you'd be surpirsed.
-Zorp
Newsgroups: alt.games.whitewolf
TOREADOR THEATRE:
"But soft, what light through yonder window breaks? It is the East, and
Juliet is AAAHHHHHHH THE SUN!!!!!" *FOOM!*
-Mike B
Newsgroups: alt.games.vampire.tremere
Subject: Though Ah should in'roduce m'self....
Me? A Beast? ::hides the femur behind her back:: Not me....
-Riahanna McDonough
Newsgroups: alt.games.vampire.tremere
Subject: Re: Hello, anyone out there ???
>>>> This is the '90's, gender is optional. There are people out
>>>> there paying to have sexual experiences with Dolpins! So whatever
>>>> you two do with a rolled up newspaper is passe.
>This is something I meant to respond to earlier- I think
>dolphin prostitution is wrong. Perhaps not in theory,
>but in practice, its wrong. In an ideal world, where it's
>a consensual act of love and joy, I would have no problem,
>but I loathe the dolphin sex industry as it exists today.
Kithing cousins.
(alt.games.whitewolf)
We secretly replaced the usual Boys in Blue with MIB. Let's watch.....
-Aaron
(alt.games.whitewolf)
"If I wanted your opinion, I'd read your entrails."
-Garret
(Rick's Cafe American)
> > "Well you can always grab a bunch of enchanted baseball bats and >
>run around with a group of preschool kids beating up on giant
> >pattern spiders. That would get their attention. Just wait for me to >
>get out of town first."
> "Hmmm, that actually sounds like fun. How would one go about >
> enchanting a baseball bat?" ::smirk::
"Actually I did it with childlings and wifflebats but it should work.
First you (or a breathing friend) find a Celestial Choruster, and have
them 'bless' the bat. Then you give the kids X-ray glasses that can see
spirits, because kids are more likley to belive. Then tell them to hit the
spiders they see and let the fun begin!"
-Ekisya and Rowan
(alt.games.whitewolf)
> True Story
>
> I walked into Oshman's Sporting Goods Store in Dallas Texas. And
> purchased for under $20...a box of 50 .45 caliber ACP hollow point >
> silver bullets.
>
YES!
ya gotta love a story like that
and it comes to me asno suprise that the state where one can readily
purchase Silver bullets, at a sporting goods store no less, is Texas
the same state where you can hae a loaded gun in the gunrack of your truck
and drive around with an open can of beer (as long as you're not drinking
it!)
gota love texas!
> So, think about that next time you play your WoD games.
>
waiting for WoD:Texans
the gypsies got a book, why not texans?
(i bet a group of good ol' boys with shotguns and beer could prolly take
out a vampire coterie or 2)
-Winter and Matt R.
(alt.games.whitewolf)
((ooc: Ignore the green gnome in the corner...I repeat, ignore Master
Yoda....he is a figment of your imagination...))
-Edward Furgesson, Investigative Mage
(A disscution on alt.games.vampire.tremere about what clan Elvis
is/was/could be)
Elvis? It's quite simple. This is the progression, and mind you,
lasts far more than one night.
1. Elvis is taken as a ghoul by a Toreador.
2. Malkavians, on hearing this, immediately go watch "Family Feud".
During the credits, they get it together and go snatch him.
3. Nosferatu spy-guys see it happen and leak word to...
4. Ventrue busybodies seize him back to stop the Malkavians from
Siring without permission of the Prince. Of course this has
nothing to do with his money.
5. The Malkavians retaliate by manipulating a Ventrue company into
leveling a piece of protected Gangrel land.
6. During the small war that ensues, the Nosferatu smuggle Elvis to
the sewers, poor plagued soul that he is.
7. The Brujah encounter the sneaky party entering the sewers and romp
them for fun, taking Elvis to a bar to get smashed.
8. Crashing a classy bar lets the Toreador know where Elvis is, and
they reclaim him by diverting the Brujah with women.
9. The Malkavians get Pranky and unleash the weapon of information
on...
10. The Tremere catch wind that an item of power is changing hands
rapidly and move in. A liberal splotch of Movement of the
Mind later, and the confused Warlocks hold a drunk Elvis.
11. A group of angry Gangrel stalking the city for the violators of
their lands come on the unsuspecting Tremere accosting
someone, so they jump them. Elvis falls...
12. The Brujah catch an Elvis who the Ventrue'll pay an arm and a leg
for, no exaggeration. The speed off to payday...
13. The Nosferatu, somewhat bruised and battered, come up from the
sewers to catch their prey and slam them through a warehouse
and out the other side.
14. The Malkavian who had been hanging in the Nosferatu group without
mentioning it to them "convinces" Elvis to wander off with him
away from the fight.
15. A group of street thugs who work for a Ventrue drug lord run
across the pair and see how Elvis looked like the guy on the
picture with all the zeroes their boss handed out, so they
knife up the Malk and take Elvis home to Daddy.
16. The Toreador, who chose to take advantage of the night's chaos for
political gain, send in their pet police to bust the Ventrue
and come across their prize.
17. The Brujah, enraged by the government smashing a free enterpirse
like that because of their "laws", not to mention cutting off
their supply, trace the attack back to the source and begin
storming Toreador establishments and trashing them.
18. The Toreador, scared for the sanctity of their prize ghoul, work
out a deal in blood to have him hidden and safeguarded by the
Tremere in exchange for, well, blood and support.
19. A by-this-time sizzling group of Gangrel, mortified at the
treatment this potential Kindred has received at the hands of
their treacherous brother clans, tracks the singer through a
long, twisting path to the Tremere chantry. Help is called
in, and a siege is laid.
20. While the Gangrel and Tremere are dealing with one another, a
Nosferatu makes a phone call to a certain ghoul about his
certain wife, a certain $300-an-hour hooker and a certain
videocamera, and a white-faced ghoul escorts him in safely to
bring out Elvis.
21. The Tremere learn soon that Elvis is gone and decide that the
Gangrel skulked in and snuck him out. The Gangrel are
mortally offended by this slight on their Clan honor. War
ensues.
22. News traveling as news does, the Toreador learn that the Tremere
have failed in their solemn word and allowed Elvis to be
taken. War ensues.
23. Meanwhile, back at the ranch, the Malkavians make a couple phone
calls of their own, and acquire a gas tanker, a hose, and a
map of the sewer system. After a few hours of extremely
careful scouting, Elvis is located. A rather diverting
fireball later, they and he are gone.
24. License plate tracing reveals that the tanker used to torch their
sewers belongs to a company owned by the same Ventrue
consortium that owns the aforementioned construction company.
Sharing this information with the already stretched Gangrel
yields a small troop of extra warriors to begin demolishing
Ventrue holdings in the city.
25. The Malkavians' double-agent in the Ventrue is caught because of
his last bit of help and the Ventrue turn a cold businessman's
eye toward their raving brothers. Gathering their personal
armies together, what might be called a "pogrom" begins.
26. The Malkavians discover that someone fed their dog the wrong kind
of dog food. This soon becomes a convincing argument that the
rest of the Clans are out to destroy them, so the send out
their tame news teams to begin recording the other clans for
broadcast in the event of their demise. Or maybe before. Or
maybe for kicks.
27. By this time, the local Sabbat undercurrent is more than aware of
what's going on and joins the fray to the rationale of, "What
the hell?" This band of cross-clan killers begins a seven-way
war, convincing every Clan that every other Clan has gone to
war against it.
28. Of course, by this time, Elvis has been Embraced by the... the...
What was I saying? Never mind. It couldn't have been that
important or I'd remember.
-The Poisonous Pit Viper
As too the Elvis question, it was later decided that Elvis was not
a vampire. But actually Rasputen.
(alt.games.whitewolf)
"Evil comes, evil goes...good always sticks around for more punishment..."
-Edward
(Rick's Cafe American)
"Okay. Get this man some chocolate, a batch of voodoo dolls, and a
psyhciatrist."
Ekisya.
(alt.games.vampire.tremere Also know as the Malkavian Newsgroup)
metaphor. See, say Malkavian A, we'll call him, say, John Phillips
Bong, is traveling along the flat salt-plain roads of the mind, or the
river of the soul, or the carrier wave of his essence. Whatever. It
works either way. Now, let's say that as JPB is
zooming/rushing/beaming merrily along, he strikes the Incoveniently Placed
Object of Sanity. In reality, this may be a policeman, tax collector,
registered nurse, small puppy or any of a number of inconveniences that
spring up in the course of a madman's day.
Now, the car stikes the speed bump full-on/river strikes the beaver
dam/radiowave hits the small hillock and is DIVERTED from its previous
course, perhaps slightly altered, perhaps greatly altered, but likely
mostly intact and zipping along as it was before, just in a new and
uncharted direction. You see? That's were the chaotic behavior stems
from. It's all normal people's fault. Were they to ALSO go mad, the
roadblocks/fallen trees/big, concrete bridges of Normality would interject
themselves into the path of the Malkavian madness juggernaut and cause
this unfortunate effect.
Ergo, for Malkavians to stop acting crazy, the rest of the world has
to go mad. It's really that simple. So, like good little concerned,
caring Christian boys and girls, it is your moral obligation to lose
your mind to try and save your fellow man. Off with you. You're
wasting daylight (or moonlight, or whatever).
-The Philosophical Pit Viper
(rec.games.frp.storyteller)
"Paradox is the
name for the state when two things that are both true decide to argue
with each other."
-Erehwon
(alt.games.whitewolf)
((Rambuncious totem spirits in Rick's Cafe American))
> A Magpie spirals in from outside and Settles on the counter. It begins
> to look around, focusing its particular attention on meat, and shiny
> things.
> "CAW!"
>
> "An offering! An offering! I require roadkill and shiny things!"
-Corwyn, playing his own totem.
(alt.games.vampire.tremere)
> How can it be that my fellow TREMERE have allowed the likes of a bunch
> of half-witted Malkavian slugs to lay a grip upon OUR newsgroup?
I PROTEST!!! I am NOT a half-witted *slug*!!
I'm a mollusk, thank you very much. . .
-Rowan
(alt.games.whitewolf)
Once in the mists of antiquity (Last year) I was gathering players for a
game of mage at the universities rpg club. Whilst I was explaining hings
to folks, one of the players who had been fliiping through the book asked,
"Are all mages female?"
-J Rogers
(alt.games.vampire.tremere)
>I know what has happened, and I'm NOT HAPPY!
>Can anyone answer my query??
Erk. You might try AltaVista. They've always done well by me.
>How can it be that my fellow TREMERE have allowed the likes of a bunch
>of half-witted Malkavian slugs to lay a grip upon OUR newsgroup?
YOUR newsgroup? Hey, pal, just because it's got your name written all
over it doesn't mean it's yours. After all, don't you guys think
_everything_ has your name written all over it?
You're wrong, by the way. It's Ted Turner's name.
And I thought the slugs were with Honor.
>Oh, my.......The spells I must use now......I've been thinking, perhaps
>I should begin with AlexD.Or others he knows.Yes I think that would be
>good. A spell, a spell, but which one? Boil his blood?? HA! too good
>for you all.
Hey! Boiling blood would be just fine for me. A dash of paprika, a touch
of sage, a hint of garlic - mm. I can taste it now.
And if you're looking for a spell, you may want to contact Hooked on
Phonics.
-DerF
(alt.games.vapire.tremere)
Don't confuse comfort with happiness.
Don't confuse wealth with success.
Don't confuse polyester with Dacron.
-Zorp - Malkavian Council Member
(rec.games.frp.storyteller)
And barring the Book of Nod. (Well, okay, I'll GIVE you that one.) And
barring the main rulebook. And EVERY SINGLE DAMNED SUPPLEMENT THAT'S EVER
COME OUT SINCE AND HAS SPOKEN OF THAUMATURGY, INCLUDING THE TREMERE
CLANBOOK. Sorry about the spittle. Oh, wait-- that's you drooling. My
mistake.
-J Mayall
(alt.games.whitewolf)
"Could I have a Big McBane and fries, and nine-pack of formori nuggets to go?"
-Geoffery Brent
(alt.games.whitewolf)
Personally, I would think that blood-drinking would be the *first* sign of vampirism, but perhaps I'm just silly that way.
-Monty
(alt.games.whitewolf)
"Right, hold off the Werewolf. Maybe I can Moliate myself into a chew toy with legs and run around
the cafe squeeking."
Phil Stuart
Artificer
(alt.games.vampire.the.masqurade)
Malk, it does a body good.
-PLKI
(alt.games.whitewolf)
: (although there's been talk of selling the official World of Darkness
: Aggravated Damage Kit... silver bullets, a cold iron dagger, and a
: propane torch... yes, I'm joking)
-aegis
(alt.games.frp.live-action)
Normally I wouldn't do this type of thing, but I think that this statement deserves some reply.
Bark, bark, woof, woof, that's what you Gangrel understand.
-Eric M.
(alt.games.vampire.the.masqurade)
I AM SICK AND TIRED OF THIS "OH LOOK, A GANGREL!
I BET HE JUST GOT FINISHED PISSING ON A TREE!" ATTITUDE!
-Unknown
(alt.games.whitewolf)
"After picking up my copy of the new supplement for V:DA, I thought up one we probably won't see: Istanbul, Not Constantinople By Night: A sourcebook for vampires who aren't really horribly goth and really prefer bouncy, clever tunes with accordions and g
lockenspiels and whatnot."
- Keven M.
(alt.games.vampire.the.masqurade)
How is it that we have two Brujah talking about God?
I am severely perplexed.
Oh well -- maybe this is the seventh sign. ;)
-J. Hyde
(alt.games.whitewolf)
While the Mage was getting Paradoxed all to hell for
levitating a quarter inch, that Brujah over there
just threw someone over a 4-story building, survived
getting shot in the head, outaccellerated a police car,
dreadgazed the Pope. . .
-R.D. Elliott
(alt.games.whitewolf)
The werewolf does not seem to notice the vampire on his back
-Michael Anglewings, Silver Fang
(rec.games.frp.storyteller)
LARPs are excuses to dress funny and act goofy, and given the choice between
allying with someone truly powerful and someone truly babe-a-licious, I'm of
course going to go with the babe.
Of course, for our local SubGenius Malkavian elder, it's just the
opposite. The babes ally with _him_, because of his Massive Slack
Quotient. I am reminded of the conversation he had with a local Tremere,
speaking about the Traditions. "I'm not fighting against the
Traditions." he said, "I don't even have time to read the damn things.
I'm too busy having wild sex. And now this nubile young Toreador is
going to give me a backrub, and she's not going to give one to you." And
the aforementioned N.Y.T. gave a little giggle, gave the Tremere this
_tremendously_ funny look that said "He's right." and went off and gave
him a backrub.
The look on the Tremere's face was priceless. You could see him think
"I've done so much for this town...kept it safe...fought for the
Camarilla...worked against the Sabbat...so why is he getting the backrub
and not me?" Slack, baby. You need slack. Big time.
-Jason D.
Ashley
Professional Malkavian
Our motto is: Ventrue are Poopy-Heads!
(alt.games.whitewolf)
::walks in with a bloody hank of hair in his hand::
"I just scalped some Tremere. I'm gonna wait till
Christmas and send these back to them as a 'Gift of
the Magi'."
-Scarecrow
(rec.games.frp.storyteller)
"Join the Sabbat", they said. "Become free and
unencumbered", they said. "Travel to exotic
destinations and kill people", they said.
mPeg Leg Pete, I wanna refund, dammit. . .
(rec.games.frp.storyteller)
It's an exceptionally bad idea to turn a vampire into a
lawnchair. . . not because it's difficult, not because
it'll make enemies, but because it'd make a really crappy
lawnchair. I mean, what the hell good is a lawnchair that
bursts into flames while you're trying to get a tan?
Your lawnchair should not get a sunburn faster than
you can.
-I used to know who said this. . .but I forget.
(alt.games.whitewolf)
ME: So. . . what do you think? Isn't this the coolest game ever?
HIM: No. It's too complicated. I'd have to think too much.
ME: What? You didn't like it? I love it. . .
HIM: You would. You're a philosophy major.
- The Seeker
(rec.games.frp.storyteller)
"Morgan, does the animated my little pony belong to you?"
-Unknown
(rec.games.frp.storyteller)
A responce to the question, "Who are the Inconnu?"
::They're really just scary elders, most of whom are in GolGolconda (also,
::the Inconnu is a large, greasy north-Atlantic fish as well. I think
::they were going for the former meaning, don't you?)
I think they got the word from French!
"Inconnu" means "unknown."
But you never know! Perhaps it has a secret link to those fish
somehow.. you can never be too sure about such secret groups! :)
Christian
(alt.games.vampire.the.masqurade)
::I am curious to know something. Why do Lupines hate us so much? Also,
::how did the Lupine-Vampire fued start? I realise that they think that we
::are "manifestations of the Wyrm", but why do they think that? Thank you.
::-Weasel
gee, you corrupt Gaia's cycle by refusing to die, you`build large
scabs on Gaia, you love to drink our blood, you promote humans to
level the wilderness, you smell funny, and quite frankly, you do
stupid things like feeding off Kinfolk....
Otherwise, I've got no problems with Vampires.
Charles
(alt.games.whitewolf)
:: :: :: ::"And?"
:: :: :: ::
:: :: :: "How do you mean, 'And'? Is it what you expect it will be? No. Will
:: :: ::you be happy there? For a while, at least, yes. Some longer, some
:: :: ::shorter. Will you want to leave? Those and other questions I cannot
:: :: ::easily discuss, since I am bound by oaths."
:: :: ::
:: :: Rowen snaps her fingers:: Ah hah, I was right. There is a consperisy
:: :: to make all answers conserning heaven vague.
:: A rather shifty looking man in grey leathers with a worryingly confident
:: sort of grin lurks out of the shadows.
:: "I might be able to _steal_ that knowledge for you if you are
:: interested? Which heaven, and what's in it for me?"
:: "Evening, your divineship", he says, nodding to Rafael.
:: "Hmmm.... It would be truly interesting to see what answers YOU would
:: come up with."
He leans in a confident sort of way against a table, while keeping a
careful eye on all around him.
"I've seen several heavens, they tend to be much of a muchness, though
they vary in details. Lots of bored deities, thinking up new ways to
meddle in mortal affairs, the occasional god who is running short of
worshippers, and is looking for allies who will not finish him or her
off, gods cheating at Patience."
"The main trick is to blend in. A white toga or a jeweled suit of armour
goes a long way, as does carrying a scroll and looking as though you are
taking a message somewhere!"
"Of course, if you want the spot where mortal souls hang about until
they get so bored they go for reincarnation, even if it's against their
religion, that is another matter!"
And he grins at everyone around with his perfect white teeth.
"Now, what are you going to offer me for some _accurate_ info?"
-Rafael
The healer
Another Toreador convert in the making :) ?
-Rowen of Clan Toreador
@-}-'--
((who's gonna be doin' the converting? :))
-Bavin, The thief
(alt.games.whitewolf)
We thought up a Malk with True Faith. Since this is not restricted to
Christianity or even any of the organized religions, as long as one truly
believes, he had true faith in styrofoam. Actually, his god needed
styrofoam, couldn't create it himself, so he made people who made
styrofoam. Therefore styrofoam is his holy symbol. Can you see some
whakked Malk coming at you with a styrofoam cup! You start laughing at
him - then you realize - its True Faith!!!
- L. S. Dudgeon
(alt.games.whitewolf)
::"That's the last time I get in a thread with a Baali. Can't trust
::those little subordinate fiends."
I'm not subordinate ! I'm an INDEPENDENT little fiend !
(alt.games.whitewolf)
Ha. You don't think Brujah look at people's cleavages just to leer, do
you ? It's our secret way of avoiding Dominate !
William Gordon, Clan Brujah
(alt.games.whitewolf)
"A friend of mine ghouled an orchid by watering it with vampire
blood. We're still trying to evict it from the greenhouse. The
neighbourhood cats are starting to go missing."
-- Yelyana Karlovich, Ancilla. Camarilla supporter since 1974.
Clan Ventrue
(alt.games.whitewolf)
Q: How many Brujah neonates does it take to change a light bulb?
A: None. They just smash s**t and scream about how the light bulb
needs to be changed.
Everyone's favorite Panders Antitribu
DeeDee Mao
(rec.games.frp.storyteller)
:: Second, remember to wear safety gloves and eye-goggles to protect
::yourself from the cold temps. Frostbite is not fun at all, and can you
::imagine trying to explain you injury to the emergency room staff?
::"Well, we were trying to stake this vampire, you see, and Arnie got
::spooked and knocked the carrot off the table, and I tried to grab it
::so it wouldn't shatter on the floor of the crypt, and..." And then
::You'll have to face your insurance agent.
::
::Trust me, I'm an expert on this.
:
:Oh, so you've TRIED using a Liquid Nitrogen-cooled carrot to stake a
:vampire?
-John M. and Jeff H.
(rec.games.frp.storyteller)
:"Yes. Fresh tree sap. But I'll settle for whatever blood you have on
:tap"
"Sir, we have six types of blood on tap...what would you prefer. We have
male, female, young male, young female, drug potpouri, and animal."
-Captin Obvious
(alt.games.whitewolf)
::What the hell is Golconda?
::
: Isn't that the little boats they paddle up and down the canals in
:Venice?
-Enf
(rec.games.frp.storyteller)
Baali Baali oxenfree!
-Tgardner
(alt.games.vampire.the.masqurade)
Malk, it does a body good.
-PLKI
(alt.games.vampire.the.masquerade)
Perhaps you would like a one way ticket to the Abyss. Bring a coat, it
gets chilly there this time of year.
-Bouton
(alt.games.vampire.the.masquerade)
Maybe Mark Rein*Hagen is actually Cain in disguise. Who knows how it happened, but it did.
-Geoffrey Brent
(not a pawn of the elders or anything !)
(rec.games.frp.storyteller)
: 3) The kid at last year's GenCon that wanted to be Tremere. Note that
: I didn't say "a Tremere."
At our local LARP, we have two ways of dealing with this:
1. "I want to play a mage." achieves the reply: "Okay. We'll give you
the greatest mage in the world. Ever heard of Merlin? Here you go."
And we hand them a character sheet with Ambrose, the 13th generation
Malkavian who has no Thaumaturgy, no Occult, and only a couple of
disciplines. This actually served to break someone of the twink habit:
by the end of the night, they were _convinced_ we had given them the most
powerful character in the game. We smile.
2. After we hand out Ambrose, any kind of twinkish character request is
met with either "Sorry, Merlin's out. Would you like to play Jesus?" or
"Sorry, we've already handed out all the Antediluvians. Is there
something else you'd like to play?" They get this entertainingly
panicked look on their face.
-Jason D.
(alt.games.whitewolf)
> A werewalrus abomination? *collapses in helpless laughter*
Werewalrus *Methuselah* Abomination, Kyle. Get it right. With True
Faith and Forces 5. You should see the acceleration you can get with
that thing.
-Alik
((It should be reported that in subsaquent posts it was revealed that said Werewalrus Methuselah
Abomination's favorite plan of attack was to use some sort of telekenisis to fly around,
"going into orbit" as I believe it was described, and drop himself on
to his victims.))
(alt.games.whitewolf)
:: :: How's about this for a metis flaw? No Crinos form.
:: :: I know I know, all metis are born crinos...yeah yeah it says so in the
:: :: rules, but...
:: ::
:: :: Imagine. I mean, why not? (rules can be bent after all.)
:: :: In this case the metis is born either in glabro or hispo. No matter
:: :: what, he/she just cannot assume the crinos form. Now that's a major
:: :: flaw!
:: Hmm, interesting. To make it more interesting, make the metis a
:: siamese twin, and have this flaw only manifest for one of them, and
:: give the other one the flaw Short Fuse.
::
:: "Wait a minute, I'm confused. You say it's your brother who
:: changes into a werewolf?"
:: Hmmmm....icky
:: I like it...
-Sara
(alt.games.whitewolf)
I'm 14 and have been playing Storyteller (not as a hack-slash, I might
add, but a nice goth-punk horror genre) for two years. Is this a sign
of maturity or a mental imbalance?
(alt.games.whitewolf)
One of my favorite LARP players was a guy who was supposed to be a
gargoyle. He didn't have much of a costume on, and was flapping his arms
like little kids do when they pretend they're birds. He said "Hey
everybody! I'm a gargoyle!". The reaction he got was classic. Everyone
shut up. All at once. Then the hysterical laughter broke out. If you
don't think it's that funny, maybe you just had to know this particular
guy.
On other occasions, he was a massively twinkish Werecoyote (I forget what
they call those). He went around picking fights with Brujah then beating
them senseless.
-Joe
(rec.games.frp.storyteller)
All of asudden a door opens in the Umbra, a man falls through.
Aproximatly 6'5", navajaho, black hair, slightly messed up, and unnervingly
bright eyes which are blue. He is wearing a technicolor trenchcoat and a
t-shirt which reads "I was trapped in malfeas and all I got was this stupid
t-shirt"
-Doc
the eratic Nuwisha
(alt.games.whitewolf)
: Extended Patagonia, 2 pt. Merit
: The vampire has a supernatural affiliation with Patagonia. There are no
: particular in-game advantages of this, but upon acquisition of the Merit
: the vampire gains an inexplicable resemblance to either Rocky the Flying
: Squirrel, Bullwinkle, Boris Badanoff, Natasha, or Professor Peabody.
: The character must be chosen at acquisition of the Merit and may not be
: changed.
A LARP story for every occaision.
The setting was an auction run by a Giovanni. One of the "teams" we came
up with was a 2-person team of vampires from a "Russian Occult
Collective." Of course they immediately acquired the ST nickname "Boris
and Natasha." Little did we know that we assigned them to the two players
who could really pull off a Russian accent. It was simultaneously very
very very funny, and very very very cool.
"Borees! We moost geet eenforrrrmayshun from Trrrrreemeer delegayshun!"
"Natasha! Ze Bruha wit ze stake...he wooonz me!"
(alt.games.whitewolf)
>Anyway, How about a guy who wants to be a Stargazer who knows Kalindo
>Level 5 and the merits: Metamorph (auto shapeshift)(6), Charmed
>Existance(5), Mixed Morph(1), Daredevil(3), Calm Heart(3),
>Concentration(1), Ancestoral Ally(1), and Double Jointed(1).
>Weakness: Hatred (Vampires) (4), Mark of the Predator (2), and Venus
>Descending (2).
>Then he wonders why I restrict him.
Because he forgot to take Huge Size and Silver Tolerance ?
-Geoffrey Brent
(alt.games.whitewolf)
Flaw: Shaq Attack (3 pt. Flaw)
The character gains all the benefits of Huge Size, but loses all hair
above the shoulders and must make either a movie or a Pepsi commercial
every five minutes. This Flaw may not be taken with Huge Size, Short,
Child, or Known To Be Dead.
(rec.games.frp.storyteller)
> Why? Personally, I think their "Three Umbras" idea was their biggest
> mistake. *I* like the idea of a bunch of Wraiths ambushing a lone Garou
> and moliating him into a giant chicken...
>
> J. Spectre - Wait a minute, you're not a Werewolf, you're a GIANT CHICKEN!
(alt.games.whitewolf)
GAME SUPPLEMENTS WE'LL NEVER SEE
The Separatist Verbena Tradition Book
The White Howlers Tribe Book
How to Play Stereotypes the White Wolf Way! (main gist: kill
anything that isn't your own type!)
A Bone Gnawer's Guide to Fine Cuisine.
Mages' Handbook of Non-Vulgar Magic (all blank pages)
The Fianna Wish-List (contains the stats for a new fetish,
the Collapsible Claymore!)
How to Play Everyone's Character Except Your Own
1001 Ways to Make a Player's Life Hell
The Fianna Guide to Nonalcoholic Beverages
The Complete Whiner's Handbook
1001 Ways to Annoy Your Storyteller and the Other Players
The Playtester's Guide to Gaming Conventions
Does It Go on My Equipment List? The Player's Guide to Sidekicks
How to Creatively Annoy Uptight PCs and Get Away with It
Malkavian's Guide to Fine Music for Ventrue Functions
A Vampire's Guide to Tanning Salons
The Get of Fenris Peacenik's Handbook
Heloise's Helpful Home Hints for all Black Furies
Werewolf Guide to Home Perms
A Dog and His Boy: Co-Existing Peacefully With Homids for Red
Talons
Nice Neighborhoods for Silent Striders to Settle Down In
A Glass Walker's Guide to Roughing It With Only a Laptop, a
Cellular Phone, and a Trailer Home.
The Vault: A Gangrel's Guide to Rustic City Havens
The Toreador Tacky Contest Results
The Tremere "Do-It-Mundanely" Guide to Everything!
The Hermetic Guide to Spontaneous Magickal Effects
Nosferatu Beauty Secrets (sure to be a hit on the best seller
list!)
Finger Bowls and You: The Lupus Guide to Dining Etiquette (such
sage advice as: "Don't sniff the waitres's crotch while she's serving
the soup.")
Doggie Style: The Lupus Kama Sutra
The Brujah Guide to Origami: 10 E-Z lessons
The Brujah Guide to Floral Arrangements
Loosen That Tie and Say "Heck!" The Ventrue Party Animal!
How to Get Along With The Prince: An Anarch's Guide to Knowing
Your Proper Place In Society
After the Fall: The Toreador Survialist's Guide
Kindred Guide to the Afterlife
They WILL Get Theirs: 1001 Ways to Get Rid of Annoying PCs
The Vindictive GM's Guide
The Sadistic GM's Guide
Dirty In-Fighting for The Children of Gaia
The Gang Bang Book: A Survival Guide For Fianna Metis
Self-Denial and Self-Discipline: A Handbook for the Mages of
The Cult of Ecstasy
The Assamite's Guide to Non-Violent Negotiations
The Malkavian Psychiatrist's Handbook
The Nephandi Guide to Peace and Serenity
---By Eowyn, Galadriel, and Strider
(First Published in Portals #4; Buffalo, NY)
(alt.games.whitewolf)
> ->> Doggie Style: The Lupus Kama Sutra
> ->
> -> I bet it would sell....
> ->
> ->
> -> K.
>
> Don't be silly. You ever met a lupus who could read? It had better
> be heavily illustrated.
>
Illustrated? I'm sure that it would have to be Scratch'n'Sniff.
(alt.games.whitewolf)
Narak approached the bed, shrouded in darkness of his own creation.
Sara brushed briefly at her face and turned over to lie on her side.
Narak stepped closer to the bedside, casting a shadow over the white
sheets from the moonlight shining in through the open window behind
him. He reached out to graze a finger down her cheek, then knelt
forward, his mouth opened wide, displaying his gleaming fangs. She
stirred, then suddenly shot up in bed and stared at him with
disbelieving eyes. For a moment he feared she might run and he'd be
forced to restrain her, but slowly her expression of shock gave way to
one of annoyance. She glared at him, looking over his horrifying white
features, then stood up and shoved him with surprising strength. Narak
fell on his back, amazed by her actions. Sara loomed over him, looking
down at him with a gaze coated in hatred. Narak found himself backing
away from her, despite his obvious greater strength and power.
"Well," she finally spoke. "I suppose you intend to embrace me. ME!"
Narak could only nod dumbly. "And what, may I ask, would I be getting
out of this?" Narak slowly twitched his shoulders in an appologizing
shrug. "Did you simply assume I wished to shed my amazing beauty to
look like you??!! Look at that complection, mister! If I didn't know
better, I'd say you were dead. And those ears! Even as far as
Nosferatu go, you are HIDEOUS!" Narak could only sniff and mumble a
pitiful appology.
"Oh no, don't even TRY to make amends now! You make me SICK! You
people think you can just have the run of the world," she flung her
arm out in a wild gesture, "turning anyone you want to vampires!"
A tear slipped down Narak's cheek. "I- I'm s-so sorry." He burried
his face in his hands and began to cry.
"Oh sure, NOW you're sorry. Now get out of here! I don't EVER want to
see you again! If you want to Embrace me, you had better send a clan
of a bit higher class. Maybe a Ventrue, or a Tremere..." She stopped
shouting momentarily to consider what sh wished to become. "Oh, and
don't even try to slip some 13th Generation Neonate in here wasting my
time. If you think I've got the time to spend diablerising people to
lower my generation, you're smoking crack! I have a VERY active social
life, and this must not infringe on it. Now go, before I have to
enforce my words!"
Narak could only choke out a few words as he stumbled out the window and
disappeared down the street.
~Minion
(alt.games.whitewolf)
Newsgroups: alt.games.whitewolf
Subject: Make Lots of Blood Fast!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Date: 19 Sep 1996 17:00:32 GMT
Lines: 219
**********************************************************************
This works, I did it and have already received 30 gallons in the past
week.
************************************************************************
Hello! I've got some awesome news that I think you need to take two
minutes to read if you have ever thought "How could I gain some
serious blood in a hurry???" , or been in topor, and ready to do
almost anything to get the blood needed to rejoin society. So grab a
snack, a warm cup of blood, or a glass of your favorite beverage, get
comfortable and listen to this interesting, exciting find!
Let me start by saying that I FINALLY FOUND IT! That's right!. I
found it! And I HATE FEEDING OFF THE HERD!! I hate those schemes
like blood hunts, tithing to your elders, the masquerade, blood bank
heists, playing doctor... the list goes on forever. I have tried
every darn way of feeding get out there over the past 12 millenia. I
somehow got on mailing lists for people looking to get medical
supplies (more like 'desperate stupid kindred who will try anything for
blood!'). Well, when I was a neophyte, these claims to 'get me blood
quick' sounded irresistible! I would shell out $14.95 here, $29.95 there,
$24.95 here, and another $49.95 there. I had used up all my favors with
malkav, salut, babby, rasputin, cain, lilith, kevorkian, mickey mouse, and
the talk show host of your choice. And I was still desperate for blood!!
So, I gave them all a chance but failed at every one of them! Maybe they
worked for some kindred, but not for me. Eventually, I just tossed that
JUNK MAIL in the trash when I got the mail. I recognized it right away.
I can smell a blood scam from a mile away these days, SO I THOUGHT....
I thought I could sniff out a scam easily. WAS I WRONG!! ....I LOVE
THE INTERNET!!!
I was scanning thru a NEWSGROUP and saw an article stating to
GET BLOOD FAST!! I thought..."Here on the Internet?? Well, I'll just
have to see what schemes could possibly be on the internet." The
article described a way to MAIL ONE BLOOD POINT TO ONLY FIVE PEOPLE
AND RECIEVE 50,0000 IN BLOOD WITHIN 4 WEEKS! Well, the more I thought
about it, the more I became very curious. Why? Because of the way it
worked AND BECAUSE IT WOULD ONLY COST ME FIVE BLOOD POINTS (AND FIVE
STAMPS), THAT'S ALL I EVER PAY....EVER!!
Ok, so the 50,000 in blood was maybe a tough amount to reach, but
it was possible. I knew that I could at least get a return of 1,000
or so. So I did it!! As per the instructions in the article, I mailed
out ('snail mail'for you e-mail fanatics) a single blood point to each
of the five people on the list that was contained in the article. I
included a small note, with the blood point, that stated "Please Add Me To
Your List." I then removed the first position name of the five names
listed and moved everyone up one position, and I put my name in
position five of the list. This is how the blood starts pouring in!
I then took this revised article now with my name on the list and
REPOSTED IT ON AS MANY NEWSGROUPS AND LOCAL BULLETIN BOARD
MESSAGE AREAS THAT I KNEW. I then waited to watch the blood come
in...prepared to maybe receive about 1000 to 1500 in blood or so....
But what a welcome surprise when those envelopes kept coming in!!! I
knew what they were as soon as I saw the return addresses from people
all over the world-Most from the U.S., but some from Canada, even some
from Australia! I tell you, THAT WAS EXCITING!! So how much did I
get in total return? 1000? 5000? Not even!!! I received a total of
23,343 gallons!!! I couldn't believe it!!
I now have a brand new pod of Grey whale ghouls to speak for,due to
this!! Now after almost 8 months, I am ready to do it again!!! So
maybe it was possible to get 50,000 in blood, I don't know, but IT
COMPLETELY DEPENDS ON YOU, THE INDIVIDUAL! You must follow through
and repost this article everywhere you can think of! The more
postings you achieve will determine how much blood will arrive in your
very own mailbox!! It's just too easy to pass up!!!
Let's review the reasons why you should do this: The only cost
factors are for the five stamps, the 5 envelopes and the 5 one blood point
packets that you send out to the listed names by snail mail (US Postal
Service Mail). Then just simply repost the article (WITH YOUR NAME
ADDED) to all the newsgroups and local BBS's you can. Then sit back
and, (ironically), enjoy walking (you can run if you like! :o ) down
your driveway to your mailbox and scoop up your rewards!! We all have
five blood to put into such an easy effortless investment with
SPECTACULAR REALISTIC RETURNS OF 15,000 to 25,000 in about 3-5
weeks! So HOLD OFF ON THOSE LOTTERY NUMBERS FOR TODAY,EAT AT
HOME TONIGHT INSTEAD OF TAKEOUT FROM THE LOCAL HOSPITAL AND INVEST FIVE
BLOOD POINTS IN THIS AMAZING BLOOD SYSTEM NOW!!! YOU CAN'T LOSE!!
So how do you do it exactly, you ask? I have carefully provided
the mostdetailed, yet straightforward instructions on how to easily
get this underway and get your blood on its way. SO, ARE YOU READY TO
GET SOME BLOOD!!!?? HERE WE GO!!!
*** THE LIST OF NAMES IS AT THE END OF THIS ARTICLE. ***
OK, Read this carefully. Get a printout of this information, if you
like, so you can easily refer to it as often as needed.
INSTRUCTIONS:
1. Take a sheet of paper and write on it the following:
"Please add my name to your list". This creates a service out of this
blood making system and thus making it completely legal. You are not
just randomly sending a blood point to someone, you are paying one blood
for a legitimate service. Make sure you include your name and
address. I assure you that, again, this is completely legal! For a
neat little twist, also write what slot their name was in: "You were
in slot 3", Just to add a little fun! This is all about having fun
and getting blood at the same time!
2. Now fold this sheet of paper around a blood packet ,(no rainchecks or
assamite blood), and put them into an envelope and send it on its way to
the five people listed. The folding of the paper around the blood will
insure its arrival to its recipient. THIS STEP IS IMPORTANT!!
3. Now listen carefully, here's where you get YOUR BLOOD COMING TO
YOUR MAILBOX. Look at the list of five people; remove the first
name from position one and move everyone on the list up slot one on
the list. Position 2 name will now move to the position 1 slot ,
position 3 will now become position 2, 4 will be be 3, 5 wil be 4.
Now put your name, address, zipcode AND COUNTRY in position 5, the
bottom position on the list.
4. Now upload this updated file to as many newsgroups and local
bulletin boards' message areas & file section as possible. Give a
catchy description of the file so it gets noticed!! Such as:
"NEED FAST BLOOD?, HERE IT IS!" or "NEED BLOOD TO WAKE FROM TOPOR??"
, etc. And the more uploads, the more blood you will
make, and of course, the more blood the others on the list will make
too. LET'S ALL TAKE CARE OF EACH OTHER BY BEING HONEST AND BY PUTTING
FORTH 120 PERCENT INTO THIS PROFITABLE & AMAZING SYSTEM!!! You'll
reap the benefits, believe me!!! Set a goal for the number of total
uploads you'll post, such as 15-20 postings or more! Always have a goal
in mind!!! If you can UUE encode the file when uploading, that will make
it easier for the people to receive it and have it downloaded to their
hard drive. That way they get a copy of the article right on their
computer without hassles of viewing and then saving the article from
the File menu. Don't alter the file type, leave it as an MS-DOS Text
file. The best test is to be able to view this file using Microsoft's
Notepad for Windows 3.x or WordPad for Windows '95. If the margins
look right without making the screen slide left or right when at the
ends of the sentences, you're in business!
5. If you need help uploading, simply ask the sysop of the BBS, or
"POST" a message on a newsgroup asking how to post a file, tell them
who your Internet provider is and PEOPLE WILL ALWAYS BE GLAD TO HELP.
I would try to describe how to do it but there are simply too many
internet software packages with slightly different yet relatively
simple ways to post or upload a file. Just ask for help or look in
the help section for 'posting'. I do know that for GNN, you simply
select 'POST' then enter a catchy description under the subject box,
choose 'ATTACH', selecting 'UUE' and NOT 'TXT', then choose 'Browse'
to go look for the file. Find your text file CASH.TXT and click on it
and choose 'OK'. Place a one line statement in the main body section
of the message post screen. Something like "Download this to read how
to get blood arriving in your mailbox with no paybacks!" or whatever.
Just make sure it represents its true feasibility, NOT something
like..."Get one million gallons flooding in your mailbox in two days!"
You'll never get ANY responses!
6. And this is the step I like. JUST SIT BACK AND ENJOY LIFE BECAUSE
BLOOD IS ON THE WAY!! Expect to see a little blood start to
trickle in around 2 weeks, but AT ABOUT WEEKS 3 & 4, THE blood STORM
WILL HIT YOUR MAILBOX!! All you have to do is take it out of the
mailbox and try not to scream too loud (outside anyway) when you
realize YOU HIT THE BIG TIME AT LAST!!
7. So go and WAKE UP FROM TOPOR and then get that something
special you always wanted or buy that special contract from the assamites
a gift they'll never forget. ENJOY the UN-LIFE!
8. Now when you get low on this blood supply, simply re-activate
this file again; Reposting it in the old places where you originally
posted and possibly some new places you now know of. Don't ever lose
this file, always keep a copy at your reach for when you ever need
cash. THIS IS AN INCREDIBLE TOOL THAT YOU CAN ALWAYS RE-USE TIME
AND TIME AGAIN WHEN BLOOD IS NEEDED!
9. (This comment added by Vlad Tepes) Hell dude, this is great, just
send the blood and wait like 1 week, then all of a sudden, BOOOOOOM!
Mail flood full of blood points. Hahahah its great, no stakes!
******************************************************************
******************************************************************
THE NAMES LIST THE NAMES LIST THE NAME LIST
******************************************************************
* HONESTY IS WHAT MAKES THIS PROGRAM SUCCESSFUL!!!
*
* 1. Tremere
* Main Chantry
* Horizon Realm
*
* 2. F Kreuger
* #8 502 Elm Street
* Anytown, USA
*
* 3. Vlad Tepes
* 9913 12316th Street NS Apt 10095C
* Paris, France 404-5=06 USA
*
* 4. Caine (no last name given)
*
* Umbra right behind you
*
* 5. The Atheist
* 1305 Disbelief Ln.
* Nowhere, Confused 666
***********************************************************************
This works, I did it and have already received 682 gallons in the past
week.
**********************************************************************